Wednesday, 7 October 2009

Darren Morton and Christopher Parry: free as birds!

Absolutely brilliant news! Darren Morton and Christopher Parry, both employees of Dresdner Kleinwort (Commerzbank), have got away scot-free! Okay, the FSA had a go at them. Accused them of market abuse 'in relation to a new issue of Barclays' bonds'. Some K2 shit. But that ain't no big deal. THEY DIDN'T GET FINED. That's the main thing.

I have been speaking to award-winning financial psychic Keith Busby about the lads. This is what he told me: 'Mikey, Daz and Chris are personal friends of mine. We go back years - ever since they came to one of my chakra workshops. They are great guys. (Keith, mate, have you spoken to them?) Yeah, I was on the astral plane with them just half an hour ago. They are as free as birds now. Flying through the astral sky with gay abandon. Their auras are shining. Their chakras are whirling. (Keith, it sounds like they're just happy to be alive. Enjoying the astral plane. Having it large - as it were.) Oh Mikey, there is no 'were' about it. They ARE having it large. Right now, as we speak! (Fucking awesome, Keith!) And you know they didn't profit from their trades, don't you? (They'll be rewarded in the afterlife.) Of course they will.'

Free as birds! Dear reader, do you have astral eyes? Watch them!