Friday, 16 October 2009

The Gartmore UK Equity Income Fund

According to Dan Roberts - the man who manages the Gartmore UK Equity Income Fund - the recent market rally has allowed investors to take advantage of cheap blue chips. And his fund is betting on these blue chips now. But that's not what interests me. What interests me is what he told Reuters: 'Normally, I get my yield from lower-quality companies with the standard kind of risk-return trade off.' You can read the full shit here.


We want to know where you get your fire from. Have ye ever been burnt in the flaming eyes of Big Herb in a peyote trance in the astral desert of our dreams, and our love? Have ye -

O Master, cut it out with the 'ye'. Jesus!

O Dan, have you ever flown high in the friendly astral sky, eight miles high? We want to know where you get your visions from. Do you even have visions? What kind of fund manager are you? Don't you understand the old ways are over? THE OLD WAYS HAVE BEEN CRUNCHED. We are living in a new world.

O Master, are we?

O my child, we almost are. Almost.

O Master, almost is not enough for men like Dan. They need -

THEY NEED TO BE BURNT IN THE DESERT!!! That's what men like Dan need. I'm tired of all this fucking around. LET'S TAKE THEM!!!

O Master, this is what I'm talking about! Some action! Revolution, man!

There is only one language these people understand. FIRE!!!

Burn them!