Tuesday, 27 October 2009

Stuart Leaf, Paul Isaac, Michael Waldron, Richard Collier, and Joel Gantcher!

THEY HAVE GONE HOME!!! Hooray! Back to Cadogan Management LLC! This is brilliant. You see, Stu, Paul, Mick, Rich and Joel, they left a few weeks ago. But they're back already! I can hardly believe it.

This is what Stuart Leaf told me: 'Mikey, yeah, there has been a management buyout. We ain't got nothing to do with Fortis no more. But that's not why we're back. We came home for the mystic burning. We missed it. (The mystic burning? Explain yourself, Stu.) Ah, come on, Mikey. I ain't gotta explain myself to no financial shaman, some mystic lord. You know what I'm talking about, man. (Yeah, Stu, I do know, but I just love to hear top execs talking shit. Come on, baby. Lay it on me.) All right, man, hold on to your hat. We're a hedge fund of funds firm with $3.6 billion that we invest, give or take a few cents, you dig? (Oh, I dig!) Yeah, well, it ain't all about the money with us. I mean, we love money, but it's the mystic burning of cash we really love. And I will tell you straight, I ain't ever experienced burning like you get at Cadogan. You can talk to me about Goldman. You can talk to me about BarCap. And maybe you would be right. I don't know. I'm just talking about my experiences, man. My truth. You dig that? (Stu, the burning is different for everyone. It comes in many ways. Goldman, BarCap, Desert, astral or physical, City of London or Wall Street. It don't matter.) I've learnt that, Mikey, and I've found my way. And you ask all the guys. Ask Mick Waldron about the time he was sitting at his desk and a flame came right out of his mouth, in front of some journalist who was interviewing him at the time. (Oh man, that's crazy!) Damn straight. You speak to Rich. He hears voices in his head in the office, but never anywhere else. And he says he can see the voices as flames! Not just hear them. See them! As flames! How do you explain that? (The voices of dead financiers?) I wouldn't be surprised, Mike. That's why we're back. We are back and we will burn now. Ain't nobody gonna stop us. We have the money. We have the fire. We have the passion.'

Jesus! These guys are serious characters!