Thursday 2 December 2010

Bill Gross of Pimco fame says that the West is losing its grip on the global growth pie

There is a big pie out there which is getting smaller. Too many Brazilians and Indians and Chinese are sticking their fingers in the pie, while the West goes without. In America and in Europe, the global growth pie is becoming a thing of the past. Bill Gross is trying to tell us that we cannot compete with emerging markets. We should listen to him. Why? Because he is the manager of the world's biggest bond fund. We have to respect that.

O Master, couldn't we just fly away?

We could ignore Bill Gross. Yes, we could ignore him. Maybe we should. And listen to the voices instead. We could fly away. Let's leave this wretched earth to those who are dumb enough to want it. What did Henry Miller say? 'I want to annihilate the whole earth. I am not part of it. It's mad from start to finish. The whole shooting match. It's a huge piece of stale cheese with maggots festering inside it. Fuck it! Blow it to hell!' So, you see? It's not a pie at all. It is a piece of cheese.

O Master, pie or cheese, we must leave!

I suppose we could abandon our physical bodies and head off to the astral desert, and stay there, forever! But I'm not sure we're ready for that. It's all right for the mystical child, that voice, he never had a body. O my child, you have nothing to lose.

Wake up, Master! No one has anything to lose. Westerners are facing a crisis of endless proportions. Unless you want to go live in China, do ya?

The ultimate demon is a lack of global demand. There's nothing we can do. How do you tackle the ultimate demon?

Is this a real demon?

Real enough, I suppose. But there are others. And they are real. On the lower levels. We better not go there. Imagine if we left the frying pan only to end up in the fire.

It doesn't bear thinking about. What's the solution?

We'll have to pretend Bill Gross doesn't exist. If he doesn't exist, he can't talk about global growth pies, and -

What fantastical nonsense is this?!

I've done it before. With Maurice Marble III. Does he exist?

O Master, who is Maurice Marble III?

Exactly!

Who is Gabriel Azedo?

Don't start all that again.