Tuesday, 4 June 2013

Who on earth is Brett de Bank?

Oh, they're really testing me now, aren't they? They must think I'm stupid. These people. I wasn't born yesterday, for Christ's sake! I was born a million years ago. 'Eh?' Forget about it, Voice. 'Who's this Brett de Bank character then, Mikey?' That's exactly what I would like to know. I mean, they're asking us to believe, man, that this Brett was a Goldman Sachs analyst, right? 'Yeah.' And now, out of the blue, he just launches some sort of platform, Bananarama, with his mates, Carl Edouard Pihl and Oliver Morgan. 'What sort of platform?' I don't know. It's going to connect seed people, er, providers, with investors, or each other, or something. 'Seed people?' Yeah. 'And Brett de Bank?' Yeah. 'Are they serious, man?!' I don't know. He has a LinkedIn profile though. They think of everything. It's very convincing. See if you can dig this -

Angel capital, enterprise investment schemes, seed enterprise investment schemes, capital markets, capital raising, corporate venture capital, distressed investing, turnaround investing, family offices, growth capital, mergers and acquisitions, private banking, asset management, private equity, proprietary opportunities, special situations investing, start ups, UHNWIs, venture capital, and venture capital trusts.

So ... what do you think, Voice? 'What is it, man?' All that, man, is what Brett specializes in! 'Are you having a laugh? You're telling me he specializes in everything under the sun?' That's what they're asking us to believe, Voice. Yeah. Ha! Brett de Bank, too. That's what they're calling him. 'And Bananarama?' Capitama, they're calling it. 'Incredible!' I take one week off, one week ...

You know what, dear reader(s)? I have a sense of humour. I'm going to give Brett de Bank the benefit of the doubt - and the jokers pulling his strings. And those two friends of his, Carl and Olly. / Good luck, guys! I hope you make a success of Capitama.