Thursday, 23 November 2017

Jinksy on the Budget

Well, well ... Christ! / Uh, as it turns out ... our Jinksy is only interested in parcels. 'Ha! Boss, why do you even bother with this guy?' Because, Voice, he's amusing, and ... I haven't got any other PR emails at the moment. 'Well, go looking for news then, the way you used to.' Oh, I will, I will. Next week, man. 'Ha!' This is the last post of the week. Cut me some slack, yeah? I've got me guitar to play. 'In bed with your dinner?' Me dinner? No.

Okay ...

The e-commerce home delivery expert ParcelCompare says investment in web and transport tech will boost online retail in the future; but questions need for £3bn Brexit preparations 'slush fund'.

Okay, okay. He ain't happy about the Brexit slush fund. I don't think any sane, normal person is, but - 'Boss.' What now?! 'ParcelCompare?' Oh, yeah. Uh, it's the new name, I think, for ... ParcelHero. 'Really? Why did they change it?' How the hell should I know?! They used to be heroes or something, but now they just compare parcels. It's their business. Who gives a toss?!

The newly-launched online parcel price comparison site ParcelCompare has welcomed Chancellor Philip Hammond's plans to improve mobile connections to aid busy consumers shopping on the move. But the delivery specialists worry the £3bn Brexit preparation fund announced is preparing for failure in vital negotiations to retain the benefits of the Single Market for businesses shipping to the EU.

Ha! Failure is all they know, son. The national debt has doubled since they've been in power. People are homeless. Kids are going to school without any food in them. Disabled and ill people have topped themselves. Failure is what they specialize in, Jinksy. Why should Brexit be any different?

ParcelCompare's Head of Consumer Research, David Jinks MILT, says: "The good news is the future looks bright for e-commerce and parcel deliveries; with £500m promised for next Gen 5G mobile networks and fibre broadband infrastructure across the UK, and £35m to speed up internet connections on trains. This will be a boost for busy consumers shopping on the move. People will be increasingly able to shop on their mobile wherever they are, and whatever else they are doing. For a tech-led company such as ParcelCompare this is very encouraging."

Okay, okay. We get it, man. Everything is cool in parcel world. Great! 'ParcelCompare, boss.' Yeah, whatever. Enough already!



Right. Anything else? Music? My Music? 'You don't do updates no more, Mikey!' Shut up, you idiot! / Well ... I reckon my demo won't be ready until after Christmas now, a whole two years since the first demo. But I don't care. I've improved in the four key areas: composing music, writing lyrics, singing, and playing guitar. 'Nice one!' Yeah. And I have enough songs for an album. 'Nice one!' And I'm working on my most ambitious song to date. 'Very nice!' Er ... yes! It probably won't make the demo though.

So ... later(s), crocodile(s)! 'Bye!' Have a nice weekend!