Wednesday, 20 February 2008

Credit Suisse suspends traders

Credit Suisse has had to suspend some of its traders. The bank has just revealed losses of $2.85 billion, and a lot of this loss was due to pricing errors made by the now suspended traders.

Well, Credit Suisse must take action. I recommend it brings in a crack team of financial shamans right away. Forget about the money mystics. This is a job for the big boys. Top shamans do not make pricing errors. Remember we get our information straight from the astral plane. We're dealing with the ghosts of dead stockbrokers. We're dealing with Big Herb and Ganesh, for Christ's sake. Give us the job, and we will do it. You can always count on a shaman. We will never let you down. O Credit Suisse, you fools! When will you come to us, with your arms open? We only want to help. Hark! What is that sound? Is it the wailing of a trader in the bowels of hell? Call on us! O Credit Suisse, call on us, and we will save you!