Tuesday, 19 February 2008

UBS allowed to open a branch in India

Great news for UBS. After a three-year wait, the Reserve Bank of India has decided to grant UBS a commercial banking branch licence. This means UBS can now establish a branch that will offer wealth management services. Drinks all round!

But why was there such a long wait? Er, officially, it had something to do with a tax department investigation. However, I know the real truth. Why do you read this blog? Because you know I am privy to inside information that no square financial journalist can access. Well, here's the real truth. It was Ganesh the elephant god who was holding everything up. Basically, he was pissed at UBS because it was not treating him with the right respect. He told me, 'UBS thought it could come to my country, my territory, and start throwing its weight around. But I have forced senior executives at UBS to pray to me every day. And so they have their little licence. That's all it took. A bit of respect.'