Monday, 4 February 2008

Martin Currie: looking for weirdos and nutters

Martin Currie Investment Management has a recruitment advert in a newspaper today. Martin Currie reckons it is not the usual place for such an ad. The company claims it is not looking for the usual people. It wants to hire unusual people.

Well, what a breath of fresh air this is. At last a financial company has come out and honestly announced that it wants to employ financial shamans and money mystics. No more skulking around. No more emails to me in the middle of the night, shyly enquiring if I might possibly know a shaman or two who would be interested in sprinkling their magic in the direction of whatever firm. This is what we want to see! Bold as brass. A company practically screaming - give us your shamans, your mystics, your zombies and gods!

Martin Currie has to be careful though. It is highly unlikely that a recruitment manager inexperienced in the ways of the shaman would know what to look for. Instead of hiring top-notch pukka shamans and mystics, Angela Petrie at Martin Currie will probably find herself bringing in an assortment of oddballs, loners and freaks. I've seen it happen. When I was at Shaman Money Management the bosses decided to go on a big recruitment drive. The human resources girl was a nice girl, but she didn't have a clue. I tried to intervene. I advised caution. But the bosses wouldn't have it. They told me to keep my nose out and concentrate on my own department. So I did. You can guess what happened next. The biggest collection of nutballs, kooks, misfits, degenerates, junkies, whores, chancers, cads, ponces and muppets ever assembled in one place all assembled in the office of Shaman Money Management. The sort of people Terry-Thomas would call an absolute shower. The company went bust four months later. Let that be a warning to Martin Currie.