Thursday, 7 February 2008

The Maharishi is dead

As anyone involved in mystical capitalism knows, Maharishi Mahesh Yogi has died and presumably gone over to the other side. How do I feel about it? Well, it's sad when anyone dies, but I always considered the Maharishi a charlatan. Sure, he was a top capitalist - worth up to £1 billion - but still a charlatan.

I have been speaking to David Pitt - chief priest in the cult of Big Herb - and he said, 'This guy was about as spiritual as Yogi Bear, or my arsehole, or Yogi Bear's arsehole. I mean, give me a fucking break. This mofo took everyone for a big ride. He made hundreds of millions of dollars - nothing wrong with that - but where was the spirituality? At least with Big Herb you are guaranteed enlightenment, mystical power, and a whole load of cash. Big Herb had so much money he made the Maharishi look like a welfare case. And if anyone reading this wants to get rich, come and see me or one of my associates at one of our Big Herb temples. Money is just the start. You'll be flying around like a yogi motherfucker in no time with us. And I mean the real thing. Not bouncing up and down on a mattress like some halfwit. You'll be flying through the fucking air! And making a shitload of money while you're doing it. Who could want for more?'