Monday, 14 July 2008

Lehman Brothers: the dark pool

Some disturbing news this morning. In a new joint venture with the London Stock Exchange, Lehman Brothers is going to launch a dark pool trading platform - Baikal. Well, I'm sorry, but this sounds absolutely demonic. I know the credit crunch has damaged a lot of investment banks, but there is no need for Lehman to resort to Satanism.

I have been speaking to award-winning financial psychic Keith Busby about this, and he is as shocked as I am. He told me, 'Does Lehman Brothers actually know anything about dark pools? Dark pools can be found on the lower levels of the astral plane where all the demons and lost souls hang out. They are not nice places. There is wailing, and gnashing of teeth. You just wouldn't believe. And now we discover that these Lehman morons want to use one of these dark pools as a trading platform. Are these guys crazy? Tell me, are they crazy? It won't work. They will lose more money. And God knows what else they will lose.'

Yeah, what else will they lose? It doesn't bear thinking about.