Sunday, 9 August 2009

Helter Skelter


It ain't all about love in the desert. Sometimes there is murder and mayhem too. You just have to live with it. It's the flip side of all the goodness I've been laying on you. You have to deal with it.

You are more than merely my children. You are souls, millions of years old. You can handle a bit of pain. Think of what I have to go through. I get Jack Pickles in my head, fucking with me. There is a thunderstorm for us in this mood I'm conjuring up. Thunderbird! Snakes in my eyes! This is another delayed reaction to the ceremony in the desert. You can't just pick the good stuff. You gotta take it all. WE KNOW OUR ENEMIES ARE WAITING. They would if they could.

AND I SEE HER COMING. HERE SHE IS! But not the golden-haired angel, someone else. I am so fickle. Yes.

Don't be scared, baby. If you can get through this, you will become stronger.

THIS IS NIGHT-TIME IN MY SOUL. This is how I feel. I want you to feel the same way. Pain only hurts you for a little while. But DEATH GOES ON FOREVER. They will get used to it. I'm hovering above you, baby. Coming down to get you in the astral dark. WE AIN'T GOT NO CIVILIZATION NOW! How do you feel? How do you think THEY feel? It's all over for them.

These could almost be the words of Jack. Almost.

Take it. Take it. Do it. Do it. You know what I mean. Baby, baby, baby, I love you.

SHE'S DRIFTING AWAY! But she knows. She knows this is for her. And I will see her again.

Baby, I love you like money.

THIS IS PROOF that there can be love even in darkness.


At times like this I think I really must be insane. Feeling think it. Hazy, eh? When a voice cries out to me - from the night sky or from the bowels of hell? I don't know. Let me speak the truth to you, dear reader, I have no idea where such a voice comes from, a voice that says CLEANSE THEM WITH FIRE! How would you like a voice like that? A voice that doesn't fuck around. Straight down to business. Revolution, man!

I have responsibilities. I do. My children (you?) expect me to care for them in the desert. But they are scared of me. They know I am capable of anything. They know my darkness. My pain. My crazy head of visions. Oh, I control them, but I cannot control myself. I may not even be myself. I may be someone else. That's a disturbing thought. I am other people, yes? In fact, it is quite possible that I am a vessel holding a multitude of voices. Where is the silence? Give me peace.

My latest muse is here again. Not the golden-haired angel, no. She is here. Floating. Staring at me from above. I won't name her. She'll be reading this later. She does not want to be associated with insanity. At least, not in public. But in private is something else. Floating in the desert sky. Beautiful girl. Such a beautiful girl. Can she give me hope? Can she stop me going on a spree, when I get back to the Wharf? The FSA! O my children, we could blame it on some disgruntled traders. No! What is this madness?


I suppose the voice wants something on the walls. A bit of drama.

She's drifting away! Come back!

O - - - - -, you must save me. Stop me going over the edge. Get rid of the voice for me. If you love me, you'll help me. I want to be normal. Please!


Does she feel the need in me, flying into outer space? In her inner space, she sees how I'm walking and how I'm talking. I know the cosmos loves her as much as I do. Her acid eyes are everywhere we want them to be. She never loses her touch.

O - - - - -, I need you by my side to be my guide. Your love is better to me than cherry pie, better than money.

After the sinners had had their contracts cancelled in the astral desert of our nightmares, there was still time left for peace and love. I didn't want to go into the darkness. Some might say, will say, it is the darkness of Jack Pickles. The hell we could all do without. But is darkness necessary?

AND HERE SHE COMES AGAIN! And there she goes. Floating.

Is she asleep? Is she dreaming? Is she aware? Does she know?

O Master, could she kill Jack Pickles? Is she the answer?

O my child, that's what I'm wondering! Is she the answer?

O Master, she's falling! Catch her!

O - - - - -, don't worry! I'll catch you.


O Master, what happened?


O Master, is this a joke?

No! We are one.