Tuesday, 11 August 2009

Thames River Capital may launch two new credit funds!

This is potentially exciting. But will it happen? Or will our dreams die sad, lonely deaths? For they are our dreams as well. Charlie Porter, the chief executive of these mad mystic outlaws, says he wants to share his dreams with everyone. And that ain't the peyote talking, man.

Charlie told me: 'Michael, I dig the love you've spread everywhere. And now I'm spreading mine.'

And I told him: 'Charlie, you're like an eagle in the sky. That's how I see you.'

O Master, he ain't no ragged buzzard bastard. Watch him fly!

That was the peyote talking.

Stephen Drew and Simon Ulcickas have joined recently. They will be working in the credit team that will manage these new funds - if they ever come into existence.

O Master, aren't Stephen and Simon in existence yet?

Well, my child, I'm glad you asked that question. And that ain't the peyote talking. There is trouble brewing at Thames River. A lot of its employees do not actually exist. Some of them are mere thought-forms on the astral plane, which I suppose you could argue is a form of existence. I mean, thought-forms do exist. Otherwise we would not be talking about them. Having said that, there are people in this world who insist on talking about unicorns the whole time. But unicorns do not exist. Anyway, besides the thought-forms, there are some other characters I just don't believe in at all. James Van den Bergh, for example. He recently joined the European equities team. Or so they say. But we have no proof of that. He joined from SAC Global Investors. Or so they say. But I have friends at that firm, and they have never heard of James. NEVER HEARD OF HIM! He does not exist. Or so they say. The other they.

O Master, this is so freaky. What's going on?

Evil cosmic forces -

Evil cosmic forces?! What the fuck?!

Yes, my child, the forces of evil - basically Jack Pickles with Satan backing him to the hilt - are trying to put the kibosh on Thames River Capital's plans for the future. And -

O Master, we did not establish the reality of Stephen and Simon. We left them hanging in the air, as it were.

LET THEM HANG IN THE FUCKING AIR!!! I have bigger fish to fry, my child. We have to concentrate on Jack. I am still hoping that - - - - - will be able to deal with him, if you get my meaning. That girl is our only hope.

For fuck's sake, O Master, why don't you just say her name?



A time will come. - - - - - will be known by the ones who need to know. And, by the way, Charlie will end up owing me a fortune. I'm going to be the making of that cat. Mark my words.

You've drifted off with such a nutty girl, man. O Master, I fear for your mental health.

WE ARE ALL DRIFTING!!! And she's not a nutty girl. Have a bit of respect.