Wednesday, 3 August 2011

Back to Nylon Capital, ah, happy days!

I remember the old days. NyLon Capital in those days. Nylon Capital was the first financial firm I ever wrote about, along with BarCap, here. Ah, those were the days. Happy days! I was so optimistic, so full of ... life. I hadn't met the snakes, the scumbags, the phoney friends, nor the half-witted philistines with their worthless ... oh, why bother? Aren't they beneath contempt? Of course they are! What have I learnt, since those days? I AM ON MY OWN. So be it. Like Julius Caesar, I'm surrounded by enemies. Like Julius Caesar, I'm superior to all of them. Fuck them. Fuck them in their ears. That's from the heart. Yes, I have a heart.

But it's for my friends that I write, my "children" - if you like. Children, I know you can't help me, but I feel your love. And your love is enough, for me. Readers, you are the children of a savage god. It's true. (Well, I'm getting there.) Now, some of the less-committed amongst you will ask: 'What would Jesus do?' Let me tell you, I don't give two shits what Jesus would do. WHAT WOULD CAESAR DO? Come on! We've got to think big. Or, at least, I've got to. You can just watch from the sidelines, I don't mind. Maybe after the battle, you'll fix me a refreshing drink, or give me a rub-down - if you're a woman, obviously. To soothe me. I'll need soothing. I'll have their blood on me. It won't be a pretty sight. War is hell. (By the way, Krishna always had the better attitude. He told Arjuna to beat the living crap out of his enemies, not love them. What was the deal with Jesus? Was he a stoned hippie or something? It takes all sorts, I suppose. What would Charlie Manson do? Ah, that's more like it! A hippie with a bit of get-up-and-go.)

O Master, Nylon Capital?

Oh, the mystic child/voice! Whatever. So, Nylon Capital. Yes, Nylon Capital will soon be launching a new global macro hedge fund with all the money it scammed from Barclays. Oh no! Not another global macro fund! Don't these people ever learn? I saw Lee Robinson the other night. (He's only going out at night. He's waiting for the wounds to heal.) He seemed reasonably cheerful. And he thanked me, for telling him what to do. He says the Goldman boys slash with a mean razor. Well, we all knew that, didn't we?