Thursday, 19 July 2012

Edward Brogan is supposed to be some kind of King of Tokyo, right?

Wrong! Well, I mean, you would think so. But he's left Japan now because some crazy-ass regulator is investigating Eddie and his firm, Japan Advisory, and his flagship hedge fund, Whitney Japan fund, for insider trading. However, no one really knows what's going on. I mean, even Junko doesn't know, for Christ's sake! And if she doesn't know, what can any of us know? We can't know anything, you dig? So why am I even writing this? I got to write something, ain't I? It's either Eddie and Junko or it's some other bunch of finance freaks. Not that Junko has much to do with it. She just spends the money, I suppose. You know what women are like. I'm not being sexist or nothin'. But this ain't no place for political correctness.

Anyway, I'm not getting involved. If Eddie asks for my help, I'll see what I can do - if he approaches me with the right attitude, all submissive and that. He'll probably be able to work it out by himself, I should think. And he's got Junko. She's a good woman. That Japanese regulator will get bored eventually, then Eddie will be able to open up his office again. Yeah, it's closed. The office is closed, and Eddie has done a runner. It's a real mess. And you've got to wonder why people even want to become hedgies these days, ain't ya? The financial crisis, all the regulations they have to put up with - is it worth it? I reckon Eddie could make more money as a pop star. He could do a cover of Japan's Life in Tokyo. 'Oh, ho, ho, life can be cruel, life in Tok - y - o.'

But if Eddie wants my advice he'll have to pay for it. I could guide him straight to the top of the charts. I know enough about music. Maybe I'll just take a percentage. It's early days yet. It all depends on what he wants to do with his hedge fund. Junko could be the backing singer. Add a bit of glamour, like.

Well, I've got another conceptual post to be getting on with, No. 38. I'm not going to achieve immortal fame by writing posts like this one, am I? So it's down to serious business, after lunch. / Laters.

Update: I'm not writing No. 38 today. I'm writing a second part to No. 36.