Friday, 21 June 2013

Sebastian Lyon? That boy's crazy!

Dear oh dear. / Dear oh dear oh dear, eh? 'Yeah.' / Sebastian Lyon, chief executive of Troy Asset Management, reckons there's a lack of appealing opportunities around. He's talking about cash being king and dry powder and shit. Ha! 'Well, maybe not around, Mikey, but -' There are plenty of appealing opportunities a-ROUND, Voice. 'I was just going to say that.' Sebastian will find out later.

Voice, listen to this: We are not swayed by market fashions and hold to fundamental principles of investment. Our approach is clear and transparent and aims to deliver consistent investment returns while exposing our investors to lower than average volatility. 'Is that true? I didn't think we were into all that, man.' Not us, you idiot, them. Troy. 'My name's not Troy.' You don't have a name, Voice.

After lunch, I'll get Sebastian a-ROUND. I'll show him opportunities. 'I think he means investment opportunities, Mikey.' I don't care what he means. ‘But you just quoted that investment nonsense of his at me. Come on, man, think about it. He's probably not into shamanic transcendence and other realities. You're being unreasonable, boss.' I don't give a shit! These people have got to learn.