What's the difference between a hedge fund and a hedge fund sponsor? I only ask because some people are calling Coatue Management a hedge fund while the firm's LinkedIn profile says Coatue Management is a privately owned hedge fund sponsor. The firm invests in the public equity markets globally focusing on investments in technology, media and telecommunications in addition to other sectors. It employs long/short strategy to make its investments. Coatue Management was founded in 1999 when the sky was all purple and is based in New York City. You see, "hedge fund sponsor". So ... do you know, dear reader(s)? I'm not up on all this finance shit. I'm on the mystical side of things ...
Oh, I suppose it doesn't matter ... / The fact is, Tony Noto has had enough of working for the Goldman crew. (He was involved in all that Twitter nonsense last year, by the way.) Apparently, he's really talented and everything - whatever that means in the advising and investing sense. (He hasn't even done any investing, has he?) I don't know. I mean, can ... can he play the guitar? 'No.' Can he do the Rubik's Cube in less than a minute? 'Well ...' My fastest time, years ago, was thirty-seven seconds! 'Wow!' And I won two competitions. Not one, two! I probably have more talent than Tony. 'In your little finger.' You don't see me working at Goldman though, and then going off to join some fancy hedge fund ... or hedge fund sponsor. I'm sitting in the shit over here! 'Christ!' Where did I go wrong in life? 'Come on, boss. It's not as bad as that. You've got your music now.' Yeah, I know, Voice. I know. I'll be all right. Don't worry about me. It's just that ... guys like Tony really wind me up, you know?
...
And, er, in other "news" ... unemployment is supposed to be down in the UK. 'Ha!' Utter bullshit! The figures are fixed. Workfare, sanctions, zero hours ... / I've said it before, and I'll say it again: THERE IS NO FUCKING RECOVERY. Can't you understand that, dear reader(s)?! I know most of you have been brainwashed, but, please, just ... remember when you were a child ... before your parents (agents of the state) and the government and the media polluted your beautiful little mind ... try to remember how you were ... / I give up!
Oh, I suppose it doesn't matter ... / The fact is, Tony Noto has had enough of working for the Goldman crew. (He was involved in all that Twitter nonsense last year, by the way.) Apparently, he's really talented and everything - whatever that means in the advising and investing sense. (He hasn't even done any investing, has he?) I don't know. I mean, can ... can he play the guitar? 'No.' Can he do the Rubik's Cube in less than a minute? 'Well ...' My fastest time, years ago, was thirty-seven seconds! 'Wow!' And I won two competitions. Not one, two! I probably have more talent than Tony. 'In your little finger.' You don't see me working at Goldman though, and then going off to join some fancy hedge fund ... or hedge fund sponsor. I'm sitting in the shit over here! 'Christ!' Where did I go wrong in life? 'Come on, boss. It's not as bad as that. You've got your music now.' Yeah, I know, Voice. I know. I'll be all right. Don't worry about me. It's just that ... guys like Tony really wind me up, you know?
...
And, er, in other "news" ... unemployment is supposed to be down in the UK. 'Ha!' Utter bullshit! The figures are fixed. Workfare, sanctions, zero hours ... / I've said it before, and I'll say it again: THERE IS NO FUCKING RECOVERY. Can't you understand that, dear reader(s)?! I know most of you have been brainwashed, but, please, just ... remember when you were a child ... before your parents (agents of the state) and the government and the media polluted your beautiful little mind ... try to remember how you were ... / I give up!
