Thursday 15 May 2014

I don't think Ian Pizer wants to join Aviva Investors

Just a feeling I've got, dear reader(s). He doesn't want to go there. 'Why do you say that, Mikey?' Well, Voice, take a look at Ian's LinkedIn profile. 'Okay.' It says he's still working at Standard Life, don't it? 'He's not at Aviva Investors yet, that's why.' No, man, if he had a positive attitude, if he was happy with the situation, he'd have updated his profile by now, even in advance, because the excitement, man, would be too much for him. He wouldn't be able to help himself. 'You're presuming he's into lazy days in the park eating ice creams.' Well, that's the problem. That's all the Aviva mob do all day, in this weather. And the pub, in the winter. 'Yeah.' Ian is probably one of these hard-working lunatics we've heard about. You know, a fund manager who is genuinely interested in finance. 'Why is he joining Aviva Investors then?' His mate, Euan, is bringing him in. 'Oh.' It's loyalty, you see. Loyalty to an old friend. But it will all end in tears. He'll hate the culture at Aviva Investors.

Never mind ... / 'You know what you should do, boss.' What? 'Take Ian Pizer for a spin, after lunch.' No. 218? 'Why not, man? It might help. Put a bit of sunshine in it, and a dollop of ice cream.' All right. Yeah, if I can get him DIZZY, it might make him more enthusiastic about his future. It's certainly worth a try.

...

Lunch? Cheese and pickle sandwich, yoghurt, Pepsi. No crisps today, I'm afraid. It's not the end of the world. I'll have crisps tomorrow. I'm not someone who needs crisps every day.

Nice and sunny, eh? It doesn't matter how sunny it is. Blogging, guitar practice ... I can't get out.

I suppose I could be like one of those ponces who take their guitar to the park, but I've never been flamboyant much ...

I'll wait until Malibu. Everything will be different in Malibu. I've just got to get my shit together and then keep it together. You dig, dear reader(s)? Oh, I know you dig ...