Thursday, 8 May 2014

Pierre-Henri Flamand is joining GLG to focus on a global catalyst-driven strategy across the capital structure

Well, thank God for that! Thank God that someone at GLG will finally be focusing on a global catalyst-driven strategy across the capital structure. 'They've been crying out for that shit, man.' Of course they have, Voice. And Pierre-Henri Flamand is just the man for the job. It's a shame about his old hedge fund, Edoma something, but life goes on. Pierre-Henri was a top shaman at Goldman Sachs. He was always going to land on his feet somewhere, and GLG will be brilliant for him. 'Plenty of shamans at GLG, man.' Of course there are, Voice.

But what does Manny say about this new appointment? 'Eh? Mani, from The Stone Roses? I doubt he cares.' No, you lunatic. Manny Roman, the CEO of Man Group. 'I don't know. What does he say, boss?' Manny says: We are delighted Pierre-Henri will join Man Group and play a key role as a senior portfolio manager at GLG. We provide a collaborative environment for entrepreneurial asset managers with the infrastructure and resources to enable them to focus on their roles as skilled investors. You better believe it, baby! Our strong institutional framework enables this dynamic culture across Man Group and promotes an unrelenting focus, unrelenting, man, on delivering strong risk-adjusted performance for our clients. I have known and worked with Pierre-Henri for nearly twenty years. I love the guy. He is a professional financial shaman of the highest calibre and I look forward to his contribution to the firm, the burnings and that. / Yeah, some still burn. But what does Pierre-Henri himself say? 'Lay it on us, Mikey!' Pierre-Henri says: Man Group has a problem with shamans, always has done. All the inhuman computer crap! I'm just glad I'm working on the mystical GLG side of things. I'll be all right. Short and sweet! Yeah, he'll be all right at GLG.


In other news, Barclays is getting rid of everyone who makes money at the bank. 'What?! Why?' I don't know, man. Old school capitalism is out of fashion. I think Antony Jenkins wants Barclays to be like the Hare Krishnas now, you know, live off donations. 'Is that a good business model, boss?' Well, have you ever met a poor Krishna monk? Think about it.