Tuesday, 10 June 2014

Psigma's portfolios might look boring but that's only because the whole of finance is boring

And I'm afraid there's nothing you can do about it, dear reader(s) - unless you want to be like Jordan Belfort and go to prison. 'Yeah, boss, and then get released from prison, write a book, get a film made about you, and then make millions of dollars travelling around the world talking to people.' That's not very helpful, Voice. Please keep quiet.

At Psigma Investment Management we build bespoke investment portfolios, tailored to your specific objectives. We're crazy like that! / Our bespoke approach is central to the way we do business. You could say it's part of our DNA - if you wanted to. We do not pre-package an investment product and sell it to you. (That would be boring, man.) Instead, we assess your individual circumstances, your aspirations, your goals and your appetite for risk, you dig? We take a good look at your life. Maybe even spend a few days with you and your family at your house. Then we put together an investment portfolio that is designed to meet your unique investment objectives through steady and consistent growth - above inflation, flying high in the friendly sky! / We monitor and manage your portfolio daily, adjusting it as circumstances change. In fact, you won't believe this but it is precisely our ability to see the bigger investment picture, while paying attention to all the "boring" details, which has helped us create a consistently impressive track record of performance. And, of course, it goes without saying that, er ... we'll keep you informed of progress every step of the way. With every breath you take.

So, you see, even if you scratch below the surface ... I mean, I tried to jazz it up a bit.

These firms really should hire me to write the stuff on their websites. 'Yeah?' Well ...


Lunch? Well ... / Obviously, I'm having lunch. It may be for wimps but I'm a growing boy. I need my cheese sandwiches.

I'm listening to Bob Dylan's first album. / I like House of the Risin' Sun. And Baby, Let Me Follow You Down. Which The Animals later recorded, of course.

I'm thinking of Cornwall. I might go soon. It's a mystical place, son. I gotta go, you understand? It's calling me!

Yesterday, I was listening to a rough recording I made last week of my song You're Lying. For once, I managed to get the guitar right but the vocal is crap - too low and a bit out of tune. / It's a great song though ... I've got to get my shit together, man.

I'm going to have some pineapple chunks tonight. Fresh ones, not out of a tin. A little treat ...

No. I've just been told they don't have any. Damn!