Wednesday, 2 December 2015

BlueCrest Capital Management is returning money to investors

Yes, it's a sign of the times. Mike Platt's BlueCrest Capital is getting rid of all outside capital and will now just manage Mike's money and, well, the money of partners, friends, family ... BUT NO STRANGERS! NO OUTSIDERS! Those days are over! And it's happening all over the place. I mean, other firms. Soon, investors will have nowhere to put their money. 'Gold, boss? Or baked beans?' Yes, Voice. Gold and baked beans will be all that is left to them.

And it serves them right, you know? They've had it coming a long time, these hellish investors. In the "good old days", they were able to throw their weight around, treating fund managers like dirt. Oh, invest this money for me, slave. And clean my shoes while you're at it. And wipe my bottom, too. 'Ha!' No more! THE PARTY IS OVER! And I say NOW(!!!): Let them work for a living, yeah? Let them all find jobs. The bastards!

Obviously, dear reader(s), you have absolutely no interest in hearing what Bloomberg has to say about this matter and Mike Platt. 'Tell them! Just tell them, boss. Get it over and done with, and then you can write about music or something.' Okay. Bloomberg on Mike Platt. Here it is: This person is connected to 1 Board Members in 1 different organizations across 1 different industries. 'Ha!' Will they ever learn?


All right. Music? I'm listening to Oasis. There's no harm in it. / They really lost the plot after Knebworth though. I still remember the disappointment of their third album, Be Here Now, in 1997. Everyone thought they were going to be as big in America as they were in Britain. That would have been something to see! But it never happened, man. And it wasn't just down to a pretty average third album. You might not remember but Be Here Now was released just a week before the death of Princess Diana. Then the whole mood changed. People didn't want to enjoy themselves any more. They wanted to cry while listening to Candle in the Fucking Wind over and over again ...

Well, never mind.