Tuesday, 15 December 2015

Ian Livingston is going to be the new chairman of Man Group

Once the FCA has given its blessing, of course. / And he's a lord, by the way. Yes, this Screaming Lord Livingston used to be trade minister. 'Ha! I doubt he's a financial shaman, boss.' Er ... he's not a financial shaman, Voice. So nothing will change at Man Group. They'll continue to use that evil computer of theirs, and the shamans at GLG will continue to suffer. 'What can you do about it, boss?' Me? NOTHING! I'll be a rock and roll star next year. I'm getting out, son! 'Oh. / How will all the sad finance people cope without you?' Well, firstly, all the shamans aren't sad, they're full of mystic love - and they don't need me to lead them any more. But, secondly, all the finance workers who aren't shamans ... who gives a shit about them, man?! Seriously! I've given those squares enough chances. They've had nine years to join the revolution.

Jesus H. Christ! / I've got to be selfish next year, dear reader(s). I've got to think of myself, you dig? I've been your spiritual leader since 2007, and I still don't have a pot to piss in. That's not good, is it? I deserve a better life.


New Year's resolutions ... / Are you thinking about yours yet? Mine is to spend every spare moment working on my music. I reckon I'll be able to keep it, too, BECAUSE(!) ... if I'm going to be contacting music publishers, I will need to have my shit together 24/7. It's got to be a lifestyle now, not merely a hobby.

Anything else? Er ... well, I think I'm going to struggle for news, actually, the next few weeks. I always do at this time of year. Maybe I'll get some lovely PR emails to ease my pain. I never used to receive them, but I seem to be flavour of the month at the moment. I don't mind. It's like being a journalist! 'Ha! Those bastards have it so easy.' I know, Voice! You don't need to do any research if it's all handed to you on a plate. 'You just have to quote from the emails, and add a comment or two. It's a piece of piss, Mikey!' It certainly is.