Tuesday, 1 December 2015

Manish "Boy" Chopra is closing Tiger Veda Management

Yes, it's a real shame, but Manish "Boy" Chopra has had enough. He says there aren't enough meaningful long ideas in a bull market, whatever that means. 'What else does he say, boss?' What to me, privately, like? 'Yeah.' Well, he called me late last night, and whispered down the phone: I'm a man, Mikey ... I'm a full grown man ... I'm a man ... I'm a natural born lover's man ... I'm a man child ... I'm a rollin' stone ... I'm a man child ... I'm a hoochie coochie man. 'Oh. Interesting. And what did you say?' Er ... I was lost for words, to tell you the truth, Voice.

Anyway, Tiger Veda Management. What do we know about it? Not a lot. So ... 'What does Bloomberg know?' Christ! Bloomberg knows this: Tiger Veda Management, LLC is a privately owned hedge fund sponsor. The firm invests in the public equity markets of across the globe. It also makes direct investments. The firm employs long/short strategy to make its investments. The firm operates as a subsidiary of Tiger Management Corp. Tiger Veda Management is based in New York, New York.

Er ... "markets of across the globe" - ?! What the fuck is that supposed to mean?! 'Idiots! / What does Bloomberg know about Mr Chopra, boss?' Ha! This is what Bloomberg knows: This person is connected to 0 Board Members in 0 different organizations across 0 different industries. 'Oh ... those wankers!' Tell me about it!

One more thing ... we shouldn't be sad, reader(s). 'No?' In a memo the other day concerning the closure, Manish "Boy" Chopra wrote: Valuations are efficient or ebullient with little room for error priced in, even as risks to global economic growth build up. Finding a new "value" long investment has become a needle in a haystack process, and low hanging fruit are few and far between. However, I can't complain too much. You know now I'm a man, I passed twenty-one, I want you to believe me, baby, I had lots of fun.

So ... it's not a tragedy, is it? Mr Chopra had a good time and made a bit of money. Now he should move on with his life. Maybe become a blues singer.


Lunch? Oh, I don't know yet. The usual. / Actually, I had a nice lunch yesterday. I bought a cheese and tomato crusty baton thing from a shop in Liverpool Street Station. Bloody expensive though! Nearly four pounds! 'Bastards, Mikey!' I suppose they think they can rip off City workers. But I ain't no City worker, man. I'm just a tourist, a civilian. There should be special discount offers for people like me.