Thursday, 26 April 2018

Doomed!

Right. We're all doomed, and there's nothing we can do about it. 'What?!' There's an article on the Guardian website today. [I won't link to it. What's the point? Just take it from me, dear reader(s), we're all doomed.] 'Er ... why are we all doomed, boss?' Because, Voice, my little invisible friend, climate change is irreversible now. 'Oh.' We've got about a hundred years left. That's it. 'Christ! Can't we do anything about it?' Well, man, Elon Musk is the only one doing anything, and, uh ... [Do you think he works the way he does for his health? Get real, people! More of this later ...] He's building a big rocket that can take one hundred people to Mars in one go. 'Great!' Yes, it's certainly impressive. However, loads of people are going to be disappointed when they find out that they haven't been invited to the new colony.

Ha! 'Ha!' Ha! Yes, I guess the only thing to do is ... enjoy life, while it lasts, man. That house in Malibu? It's only $13 million. I'll be able to get that money together, definitely. 'Go for it!' Sure, the house will probably collapse into the sea at some point, but I'm living for today, you dig? 'You said ten years, boss.' Ten years is today in cosmic terms, son. 'Oh. Yeah, I get you.' Thanks, Voice. I'm glad you're keeping up. [Maybe I can get the staff, after all.] Ha!

Okay, okay. Now, our Elon works roughly one hundred hours a week. [Lots of hundreds, today, eh?] That's what I'm working. YES!!! The thing is, one hundred Musk hours is probably four hundred of anyone else's hours because he's so effective in his working. I must - 'That's what you've got to do, boss, become more effective.' Yeah, I know, I know. I just said it! Christ! It will take time. Obviously, it will. However, I will get there. / 10X your life, everyone!

...

Okay, okay, okay. This is the last post of the week. Is there anything else? 'Er ... music, Mikey!' My music? I'm working out a strategy. Whatever happens, I'm staying on Twitter and YouTube until I get interest from record companies and publishers. No gigs! There's no point in being some middle-aged guy gigging around, playing to five or six people in a pub - who ain't even interested! You digging me on this? 'Yes. It's a good strategy.' Thanks! I'm just going to write the greatest songs ever, put them online, and then ... let the devil take the hindmost! If that's the right expression. It sounds good, anyway.

Okay, blog fans(s), pop fan(s), alligator(s), crocodile(s) ... have a nice weekend! 'Laters!' Yeah, bye!