Wednesday, 27 June 2018

Euan Munro on the CO2 shortage

I was talking to our Euan late last night, in my head, like. 'A conversation in your mind with him, boss?' Yes, Voice. 'Nice one!' And more of my mind in a bit. But this first -

Hello, Michael. Can you talk, Euan? Well, I was hoping to get some sleep, man. Sleep is for wimps. Come on! I want to talk to you about the CO2 shortage. All right. So ... what are you doing about it? Well, I've had talks with the breweries. Yeah. And? There's not much that can be done, Mikey. We'll just have to sit it out. Oh, and how do the Aviva Investors boys and girls feel about that, your attitude? Well, we haven't actually run out of beer yet, have we? And it's the ice cream that is my main concern, anyway. Okay. And do we know what's happening with the ice cream? Er ... there haven't been any reports in the news. All the talk is of beer. Uh. So you haven't actually checked?! What, with the ice cream suppliers? No. Christ, Euan! I hope you're not going to let everyone down. I won't! Well, don't you think you should pull your finger out, mate? Listen, Mike, I want to enjoy the hazy, lazy ... uh, hazy days of summer, too, you know. I don't want to be on the phone all day, dealing with this thing that might not even really happen. If the ice cream runs out, I'll do something. And the beer? Well, that's down to the pubs, ain't it? Yeah, but you could get some cans in. Store them in the office, yeah? Be proactive! Well, okay, I'll do that. Good! That's more like it, Euan. Enjoy your day tomorrow. Bye. Yeah, good night, Euan. FFS!

So he'll be in the park again today, with the gang. It's all right for some. I'm stuck behind a laptop, writing this shit. 'There's no rest for the wicked, boss.' Shut up, Voice.


Anything else? Oh, as I was saying, my mind. I had a chaotic day in my mind yesterday, and I didn't get much done. I hate days like that, dear reader(s), where you lose control of yourself, you dig? 'I blame Euan, boss.' Well, don't. That came at the end of the day. I was actually feeling better by then.

Uh, never mind. I don't want to talk about it. 'Is there anything else?' I'll be doing a conceptual later, Voice. No. 622. 'What about?' Does it matter? 'Ha!' Ha!

Oh, one thing. There's been some talk lately of aliens not existing, that we might be alone in the universe. I think that's nonsense. There must be loads of aliens. The reason we haven't seen them yet is because they aren't murderous lunatics who just want to conquer other planets, but are highly-evolved beings who have us under observation - a bit like a science experiment. / What's more, I have a theory that they sometimes interfere with human consciousness by raising it a bit. That would explain the existence of guys like me and Elon Musk: we are the evolutionary spearhead of the human race. Unless it's God doing it. 'But He could be the alien, Mikey.' I know.