Thursday, 28 June 2018

Samantha Rosenstock has joined Man FRM

Okay, okay. Well, well ... / Man FRM. That's Man Group's hedge fund unit, if you don't know, dear reader(s). Anyway, our Samantha - or Sam, as I like to call her - used to work for New Jersey's pension fund. 'But now she don't, boss.' Now she doesn't, Voice. That's right. She's moved on. She's at this Man thing now as the boss of its relative value and private markets strategies. 'Is that a unit, within the unit, like?' Yeah, probably. I don't know. What do I know? Uh. I know she reports to Jens Foehrenbach. 'Who's that?!' Christ! Just some guy, man. He's the chief investment officer of Man FRM. 'Oh, nice. / And, er ... is he delighted that Sam has joined the firm or group or whatever?' No, Voice. 'Oh dear!' He's thrilled! 'What? Ha!' Yeah, ha, ha, his exact word. Thrilled. 'Brilliant! You had me worried for a moment, boss.' Well, they're always delighted or thrilled or excited, these people, aren't they? It's always going to be one of those three words.

Okay, okay. Well, anyway, I'd like to wish Sam all the best in her new job. 'Good luck, Sam!' Of course. Good luck, Sam!


Anything else? Not much, no. This is the last post of the week. There is one thing: our Elon's got trouble with a unicorn coffee mug. 'What?!' Oh, man, there's this, uh, coffee mug, see? With a picture of a unicorn on it. 'Oh, right.' Yeah, well, Tesla copied it, or borrowed it, or something, and now the copyright owner and creator is causing a fuss. It's no big deal. It's just more hassle that Elon doesn't need in his life right now. And I know how he feels. I've got to record my songs, but I keep getting distracted by mundane stuff in the world that needs to be dealt with. I mean, just doing my laundry is a goddamn pain in the arse/ass, you dig? 'You need an assistant, boss.' What, like you? 'Ha! No, not me. I don't have a physical body. How am I supposed to do the fucking laundry?!' Never mind. Just forget about it.

Have a nice weekend, reader(s). 'Later(s)!' Bye!