Friday, 13 September 2013

The Aviva Investors UK Special Situations fund?

Lazy bastards. 'What?' The lazy bastards. 'Mikey, what are you going on about?' Aviva Investors is closing its UK Special Situations fund, right? 'Yeah. So?' Well, they weren't even managing the blasted thing anyway. Schroders was doing all the hard work. Aviva Investors was just sitting back and watching all the money roll in. 'You're kidding?!' No, I'm telling you the truth, man. 'The lazy bastards!' I know. It's incredible.

Absolutely incredible. / Imagine the uproar if I just sat back and let the Voice write this blog - "Is this Michael Fowke's blog?" / "No. He's getting some stupid fucking voice to write it. A ghost writer! Literally!" / I would never live it down. / 'I already do most of your research, boss.' Shut up, idiot! Am I supposed to thank you for THAT?! You're taking the piss!


Five years. What a surprise! My brain hurts a lot. 'Eh?' I'm listening to Bowie.

Not much else is going on. / Why do journalists trust the government so much? - "Unemployment is going down." / "Is it? Oh, we'll report that, then. Thanks."

I might sell a few stories. - "Do you want to buy an exclusive photograph of a unicorn I saw in Acton High Street? Only £10,000." / "Yeah, all right. Thanks, Mr Fowke. What a bargain!"