Tuesday, 23 February 2016

Diversified Global Asset Management is being shut down

Christ! Being shut down by Carlyle Group. Yeah, Carlyle Group bought Diversified Global in 2014, but they don't want it no more, man. 'Why don’t they sell it, boss?' I don't know. Maybe it's too much like hard work. Perversity. Spite. I don't know. 'But what's happening to all the people who work at Diversified Global?!' The dole, I suppose. 'Oh, that's great, that is, eh? Why did Carlyle Group even bother?' Don't ask me, Voice! You expecting me to understand the hellish mentality of such people?!

Oh, from LinkedIn: Diversified Global Asset Management Corporation is an independent alternative investment manager and advisor based in Toronto, Canada. DGAM was founded in 2004 by George Main, Warren Wright, Graham Thouret and Jeff Lucassen and has over $5 billion in managed and advised assets. Our client base is 100% institutional which includes some of the largest and most sophisticated public and private pension funds, endowments and sovereign wealth funds from around the world.

No more! A challenging market environment, no doubt. Well, well ... everyone, every firm, will be challenged one day. And not by the market, but by the goddamn cosmos, reader(s), you dig? That's a scientific fact!!! 'Oh.' So I don't want to hear any stupid arguments about it. 'Okay.' I know this shit because I'm tuned in to the cosmos. It's all common sense, anyway.

Billions of years to go, and the human race will be left behind. Will the robots take over? No. I can't see them surviving either. Not for billions of years. 'It's depressing, Mikey.' Of course, there are other civilizations on other planets. 'Yes!' However, they won't help us. They can't. 'Oh.' What did W. B. Yeats say? 'Something about Faeryland?' Later on in his poetic career, Voice! 'Er ... All things fall and are built again, and those that build them again are gay.' Ha! That only works when you're thinking of thousands of years. It's no good for billions of years. 'Shit!' Never mind.


Never mind. / What have I got for lunch? 'Tell us!' I haven't been to the shop yet. I fancy making my own cheese rolls again, with cucumber or pickle. 'And Coke?' No Coke, man! Too much sugar. A yoghurt though. I'll be having a yoghurt.