Tuesday, 20 September 2011

St. James's Place has changed its Cash fund to Money Market fund

Try and guess why. Go on. All right, I'll tell you. St. James's Place changed the name because of guidance/advice from the FSA! Can you believe it? My God, it's an outrage! We're not free to name our own funds now! Is this North Korea? I'm surprised the FSA didn't also advise David Bellamy, the chief executive, to change his name to, oh, I don't know, Sebastian Schnook? If only there were an off-the-shelf solution to the FSA, but there isn't, is there? As we know, the FSA is the dead shark that refuses to believe in death. And you can't kill a dead shark.

It's so depressing. Will we (you, to be honest) never wake one morning to find it gone? Well, it doesn't affect me all that much (or at all). I'm thinking of you, dear reader. It's you I'm thinking of. I'm thinking of "you". I know you see the dead shark in your nightmares; and your daymares, obviously. You're never truly awake. It can't be much fun. I mean, I used to see it, myself. I know what it's like, and how terrible it can be. [Those fucking teeth!] But I made a decision not to accept dead sharks in my life. And I know you haven't been able to make that decision yet. You don't have the strength. And I'm not blaming you. Oh, I'm not blaming you, child. You are not the world's foremost financial shaman, so how could you have the strength?