Monday, 6 February 2012

The FSA says most people are too scared to make risky investments

The dead shark, the FSA, says it, in some consumer awareness survey - which I have absolutely no desire to take a look at because I am aloof from such things. Is this the whole truth though? Who cares?! Not I! And not you? Will we listen to a dead shark that swims through the oceans of our minds as if it were still alive? Is that what we've been reduced to? Are we sad enough? Is this where the never-ending financial crisis has led us? Utter sadness? No! It is time we found our inner strength. (I know we have it. We must find it!) Are we slaves or free men? Are we mice or women? Are we dogs or hermaphrodites?

Nietzsche told us that we must take risks. He said that we must build our homes on the sides of volcanoes! Live dangerously! Obviously, I'm not advising that myself. Nietzsche was a lunatic. (Literally. All because of someone whipping a horse. He even fancied his sister, the sick fuck.) However, I think it's okay if we have a few risky investments in our portfolios. Oh, one or two, just to get the blood coursing through our veins. Let us live! But not dangerously.

By the way, I don't have any investments at all. I made a decision a few years ago that I didn't want to be like those dodgy journalists who have their fingers in all sorts of pies while writing about them. That's not ethical. I'm a very ethical man, you know. Well, when I'm not prowling the streets with my razor. But that's another story. And I'm not even a big fan of pies. It's Cornish pasties with me.

Note: you can get hermaphrodite dogs.