Tuesday, 7 February 2012

Sal Naro has this Coherence thing going on

A new asset management thing, this Coherence Capital Partners, and Sal Naro is the chief executive. He's such a great guy.

So, Sal Naro, he phoned me yesterday, and he said: 'Mr Fowke, sir, Coherence Capital Partners seeks to exploit opportunities in bonds, loans, CDS, index and structured products across the fixed income markets. Coherence Capital expects to generate returns utilizing capital structure arbitrage, spiders, event driven and relative value investments as well as theme-based momentum trading. Coherence Capital Partners is composed of market professionals with deep backgrounds in investment management who aim to deliver consistent, superior risk-adjusted returns based on a unique investment platform and extensive knowledge and experience in the fixed income markets.'

I put the phone down. Sally is a great guy, but I can't understand half of what he says.

Now, if I were Sally - just imagine, please, dear reader, at least try - it would have gone something like this: 'Mikey, oh boy, I've got this new asset management thing, man. I'm, like, the big chief, the big boss, and the big cheese, and I'm really excited because - er, we, that's, er, me, without a doubt, but also Vinny Mistretta, Bobby Del Grande, and Davy Clean, and I'll think of assorted other freaks later, I'll get back to you on this - we're going to be exploiting opportunities in bonds, and loans, and shit, yes, but also, get this, in our souls, yeah, in our minds, our consciousness nesses. That's the way to generate returns, as you know. The way you've been teaching all these years. I mean, what are we, a bunch of cold-eyed finance monsters with no feeling for the finer things in life? Is that any way to make money? It's by getting out there in the cosmos and inside in the inner spaces that you learn and grow and make the changes that need to be made in this industry. Because none of us are getting any older, you know. We're eternal spirits. Our bodies will die. Yes, I've come to terms with it. But the best part of us will live on. That's my belief. I know you believe it, too.'

Well, I would start off like that, then get into the nitty-gritty. If I were Sally, of course. Yes, Sal Naro. I'm not saying he's not a great guy. I would never say that. But ...