Monday, 11 May 2015

Man Group has had some outflows!

You know, client redemptions. 'Oh no!' It's nothing to worry about, Voice. It was only $1.3 billion. They still have billions of AUM. 'Lovely, lovely AUM, boss!' Yeah. / Well, actually the redemptions were $5.5 billion in the first quarter of this year. 'Eh?!' But, but ... they had sales of $4.2 billion. 'Oh, thank God!'

Of course, we have to remember, dear reader(s), that a lot of the recent new AUM, the last year or so, has been due to Man Group buying other firms, so ... 'Does it matter, Mikey?' Well, I'm still worried about that blasted computer of theirs, HAL. 'Er, AHL?' Yeah, AHL. The thing has a mind of its own, you know. It's dangerous!

...

Uh, Monday morning. Monday morning blues, eh? Christ. Anything else?

'Politics?' Oh, the election result was pretty crazy, man. However, I'm not too bothered about it. I mean, I have nothing to lose. (Lots of mug voters do, but I don't.) If the British people don't want civilization, let them have a Mad Mikey society. 'Yeah!' I've got the leather jacket and the bad-ass attitude. All I need is a V8 Interceptor.

On a more serious note ... (?!) ... maybe it's a good thing that Labour didn't win and the Tories got a majority. Cameron and Osborne (and the rest of the foul crew) aren't very bright. Over the next five years they will work flat out to destroy anyone who wasn't in their Bullingdon Club at Oxford. ['Well, that's the best way to win another majority in 2020, boss.' Yeah, whatever. Probably is!] The country will become a waste land. / What did W.B. Yeats say? 'T.S. Eliot?!' No. W.B. Yeats. All things fall and are built again, And those that build them again are gay. 'Er ...' Don't worry about it, Voice.

...

Music? I'm thinking about making one of my infamous fresh starts today.

Or I could just go out somewhere, in the sunshine. The park, or maybe the shops in London. 'What would Jesus do, boss?' Shut up! That's hardly relevant, Voice. Jesus didn't play the guitar, did he? / Oh, I don't know. 'Ha!' I mean, I mean ... what would a fund manager at Aviva Investors do? That's the question! 'With the sun shining? Come on! It's not rocket science, man.' No. No, it's pretty obvious what the Aviva Investors mob will be doing today.

I just can't believe those guys! How have they managed to get away with it for so long?