Tuesday, 26 May 2015

No one told me that Jason Pidcock had moved to Jupiter!

Christ. Moved to Jupiter. Wow! 'Jupiter?! Jupiter?!' Not the planet, you idiot! Jupiter Asset Management. 'Oh.' I thought our Jason was at Newton Investment Management. 'Our Jason, boss?' Yes, you know, our Jason, our Jason, Voice. I even wrote a conceptual about him, No. 273, remember? That makes him ours in my book. 'In anyone's book, I should think.' Yes.

Well, well ... Jupiter is probably the best place for Jason. I mean, he's had the DIZZY(!) all a-ROUND thing going on for quite a while, and now he's where all the financial shamans are. 'It's a smart move, Mikey. What will he be doing?' Er ... I hope that he will continue to get DIZZY(!) all a-ROUND. 'I'm talking about work, man.' That is work, Voice. 'Yeah, yeah ... I mean square work, yeah? Fund management work.' Uh. Bloody hell. Hang on, let me have a look, Voice. It says here ... ‘Where?’ ... HERE(!) ... he's going to help Jupiter launch some kind of Asian income strategy because that's what he was doing at Newton. 'The £4.4 billion Newton Asian Income fund?' Yeah, that's the one. How did you know? 'Lucky guess.'

Lucky guess! Ha! My intern has been doing his research again, dear reader(s). 'I'm not your intern. I'm your miserable slave.' Whatever. Same thing.

Oh, what does Stephen Pearson say? 'No idea.' Jason's focus on a combination of income and growth, typically found among large capitalisation stocks across the Asia Pacific region will add a new dimension to our offering, dovetailing with our existing strategies. 'Amazing!' No mention of the DIZZY(!) shit, obviously.


Anything else? Not a lot. / Music? I'm listening to the Simon and Garfunkel song, America, on repeat. [YOU(!) should do the same. Yes ... YOU(!).] / Guitar? I might have gone up another level. It happens every couple of months. Hopefully, I'll be able to record my songs soon, the two that need doing. / The last fifteen months have been painful. It takes so long! However, that's the price you have to pay. [Repetition is the mother of skill!] I was playing some beautiful lead guitar yesterday, real smooth. I'm confident I'll become a world-class guitarist. Anyone can do it! You just gotta put your fingers on the guitar, man, and keep them there!