Tuesday, 18 September 2018

Three-day week

Oh, we've got a three-day week now! That's exciting, isn't it? 'It's just like the 1970s again, boss.' Of course it is, Voice. And it's brilliant! Soon, we'll be watching Kojak again, and The Sweeney, and Quincy, and - 'Ha! You watch all that crap already, on ITV4.' Oh, yeah. I forgot. / But, but, BUT(!) ... Space Dust, Top Deck shandy, you know? 'Yeah. And Double Diamond for the adults.' Ha! Well, I am an adult now. Sort of. I'll be able to drink as much Double Diamond as I want. And without the lemonade! 'Oh, but wouldn't you like to be a secret lemonade drinker again?' Yes! Good point, Voice.

And maybe we'll get some decent music, too! Bowie! Marley! / Dear reader(s), you have nothing to fear from living in the past. Come on! Economic decline, or even collapse? Don't be scared. Embrace it! Think positive! It's what the government wants. And it's what you need. The future is horrible! The past is lovely! / Listen, man. You don't want your shitty little smart phone, do you? Wouldn't you prefer one of those, uh ... big box things that plug into the wall? 'What?! A fridge?!' No, no. You talk through it, just like a phone. It's got a dial on it. 'A dial?! Are you serious? What for?' I don't know. Dialling numbers, I suppose. 'Crazy!' Mama, weer all crazee now!

And the good news is: There are even some seriously mentally ill people amongst us who want to take us back to the 1940s. 'Why?!' There were no immigrants then. No brown or black ones, anyway. 'Oh.' And you can forget about The Sweeney, son. These slags get a hard-on from watching Foyle's War. 'Okay. / But what about the music, boss? What can we expect?' The music? The music's fucking shit, Voice. We're talking Noel Coward, Vera Lynn, George Formby ... I could go on. 'Don't! Please!' Ha!

...

Okay, okay. And in other news? There is no other news, dear reader(s). You've had your lot for one day.

Anything else? My music? Decent music? I still don't know about the new demo, man. 'Christ!' Yeah. It could be my three best songs*, or my two best songs plus two smaller pop songs, Lucky You and Round the Bend, that have already been recorded. 'Make a decision, Mikey!' I can't! Okay, okay. I'll go for the first option. 'Why?' Well, it's like Marco Pierre White said: "I don't want the customer to suffer any weakness."

Later(s), blog fan(s), pop fan(s)!


*Best of anybody, ever - truth be told.