Wednesday, 7 August 2019

Digital transformation

Uh. Uh. Uh. / Listen! Oh, not more digital crap. No, no, no! Man, we need spiritual transformation! Or psychological transformation. 'And, uh ... emotional transformation, boss!' Yes, that, too, Voice. We need those three transformations, dear reader(s). Not digital crap. Christ!

However, it's the only decent PR email I've received, so ... 'Give them a chance, boss. Maybe they'll talk some sense.' Yeah, yeah.

A new research report, launched today[yesterday] by the Cloud Industry Forum and Aryaka, has found that an overwhelming majority (96 per cent) of UK financial services organizations use cloud-based technologies today. Moreover, 87 per cent expect to increase their usage over the next 12 months, thereby paving the way for a smarter and hyperconnected future.

I'll be honest with you, kook(s), I don't even know what this cloud stuff is. 'Ha! You must know!' I honestly don't know, Voice. To me, a cloud is a thing that floats around the sky. And that's the way I want to keep it. Anything else is the work of the devil.

But anyway ...

UK financial services organizations are rapidly embracing new cloud-enabled technologies to transform the ways they operate and serve their customers, although skills shortages, security barriers, and worries about compliance are standing in the way of the digital transformation of the sector. Although 78 per cent of financial services business have a digital transformation strategy, 64 per cent stated that they lack the skills they need for successful implementation. In addition, well over half (58 per cent) agreed that their cloud security posture needed to be improved and a similar proportion (52 per cent) were not confident in their ability to meet their regulatory obligations. These are the key takeaways from a new research report launched today by the Cloud Industry Forum (CIF) and Aryaka.

Christ! / Ian, mate, talk some sense. Please!

Commenting on the findings, Ian McEwan, senior vice president of international sales at Aryaka, says: "This research demonstrates that now is a crucial time for the UK's financial services sector to move to the cloud. With cloud spend set to surpass that of on-premise infrastructure in the next three years, how they achieve this is more relevant than ever and it is critical that the move to the cloud does not compromise security, regulatory and compliance requirements. The technology choices and partnerships UK financial services organizations make now will build the foundation for a secure future as they digitally transform and move legacy infrastructure to the cloud."

Fine. I suppose. Whatever. BUT(!) ... What's wrong with the astral plane, Ian? 'Ha! You banned business activities on the astral plane, boss. You've only got yourself to blame.' Well, maybe that was a mistake, Voice. I just didn't like all the vulgar people who were turning up, you know? 'That's the price you pay.' Ha! Well, it wasn't a mistake then. What do I care? I don't care.

Right. Come on, Alex! Have your say.

Alex Hilton, CEO of the Cloud Industry Forum, adds: "Financial services are clearly aware of the need for digital transformation, are rightly enthusiastic about the opportunities new digital technologies can deliver, and are using more cloud-based and digital services than ever before. This shift towards placing a greater reliance on trusted third parties is freeing up IT teams to focus on activities that can deliver comprehensive business change. However, it's important that these changes are underpinned by a rock-solid foundation of security, and that financial services have the right skills and partners in place to support their ongoing transformations - and the research confirms there's work yet to do on that front."

Security? The astral plane was secure, Alex. Seriously. Anyone got out of line and the ghosts of the dead financiers would kick their fucking teeth in! 'Lovely.' It had to be done, Voice. They kept order. 'And then you banned everybody.' Yeah, yeah.

Who cares? I don't care. Those days are over, kook(s).


Anything else? Audiobooks? I'm thinking I should listen to Jordan Belfort's Way of the Wolf on a loop now. It's not a motivational book. (I don't need no motivation!) It's about selling yourself and your product to the world.

My adaptation of Belfort's Straight Line for my songwriting works wonders, of course. Whenever I get a high-quality fragment of musical inspiration, I know that a great song is guaranteed!!! ... if I put it on a straight line and then work to my normal standards. And I can get those fragments from blackouts now, using my sleep deprivation method. If I do this for the next twenty or so years, the results will be scary, man.

Good Times/Bad Times will be my third great song in a row, and within the space of a year. [One day, I'll work harder, when I can get away from this blog, like. Oh, when I get a deal!] Nothing is more satisfying to me than writing a great song, a world-beater. It's literally magic time, son/daughter. Do you know what I mean? Never mind.