Thursday 30 June 2011

Lee Robinson phones me, in tears

This hasn't got anything to do with me. I don't care if Lee has a hard-on for global macro. It's none of my goddamn business. Live and let live, that's what I say. I've always said it. He thinks I'm taking Goldman's side, just because the bank has given me hundreds of thousands of dollars/pounds over the years. Nonsense! I'm my own man. I make my own mind up. And Lee's taken their money, too.

Well, he phoned me late last night, very late - after a few whiskies, I could tell. This is what was spoken between us: 'Mr Fowke, I'm very upset. (I can hear the emotion in your voice, Lee. You can call me -) Mikey, I know. All your friends call you that. I'd like to be your friend. (You can be my friend, Lee. I ain't got no beef with you.) Call Viniar off. (It's not down to me. It's Lloyd. He's not sending Viniar, anyway. Lloyd's gone outside the bank. I don't know who's got the contract.) You can speak to Lloyd. Listen, Mike, do ... do you know how hard it is, a hedge fund manager's life? All I want to do is run my Altana in Monaco. Is that such a crime? (Lee, you took the Goldman dollar, then you fucked them over.) No, I didn't fuck anyone over. I'm a free man. I have free will. (Admit what you did. Maybe I can help you. I can't call Lloyd and tell him you're still claiming you did no wrong. He's lost face. You have to give him something.) Like what? Money? (He'd be insulted if you offered him money. Use your fucking head.) So, what, then? Why are you laughing? (I knew, years ago, that you would never get on with the Goldman crew. "As laughable as it sounds, Lee and Theo have never even heard of mystical capitalism.") Where's that from? (My blog.) Well, what the hell am I supposed to do?! (I ain't speaking to Lloyd for you, Lee. Go to New York. Get down on your hands and knees. BEG!!! for forgiveness, in front of Lloyd, in front of all the executives. Let them see your humiliation. Let them savour it. If you're lucky, they won't slash you with their razors. It all depends on how well you perform. They won't need money. Don't you read the papers? These guys have all the money in the world.) Yeah, and you worked for them! (Yeah, and so did you! So did you, Lee. You took their investment. So don't come crying to me with your fucking sob stories. Do I know how hard it is, a hedge fund manager's life? Are you taking the piss?) So, it looks like I'm going to New York, then. (Yeah.) Any last advice? (Dress warm.) Ain't it summer over there? (Not where you'll be. It's cold in the basement.) Eh?!'

Ha! I was just fucking with him. It's the London HQ basement where they, well, you know ... I'm sure he'll be okay; if he approaches them with the right attitude - a miserable, submissive one.