Wednesday, 27 November 2013

A terrapin has bought Hennessee Group's hedge fund advisory business

It just gets worse, don't it? / I never thought I would live to see the day when a turtle (terrapin) that lives in fresh or brackish water would buy itself a hedge fund advisory ... thing. I'm almost speechless. I mean, for what fucking reason?! 'Er ... it's an asset manager, boss.' What is? 'The terrapin.' What?! You're telling me this turtle that lives in fresh or brackish water is working in the asset management game? 'Yeah.' HAS THE WHOLE WORLD GONE CRAZY?!?!

Well, the whole world has gone crazy. / You want more proof, dear reader(s)? Stephen wouldn't give me the $500 million. Stephen Czech, you know? I phoned him yesterday afternoon. I wish I hadn't. 'Why?' The guy's got a bad attitude, Voice. He said he wanted to keep the excess money for a rainy day, for himself. 'The selfishness of these people never ceases to amaze me, Mikey.' I told him about the house in Malibu. 'And?' It didn't cut any ice with him. / I think Stephen has got real trouble - in his head. The money has messed him up. He was lucky in the first place finding such deluded investors. 'Boss, you could find your own investors for your own fund. Call it the Malibu House fund.' No. There might be legal complications, man. I just want the money. I don't want the hassle of starting up a fund. 'You don't want pesky regulators sticking their noses in.' Well, who does, Voice?

What the fuck is brackish, anyway? 'Brackish water is water that is slightly salty and unpleasant.' The terrapin should move then, if he doesn't like it. 'The terrapin loves it, man. It's everyone else who has a problem.' Fucking people. People are never happy. / On second thoughts, I take my hat off to this terrapin if he (or she) is making a go of it.