The economic impact of all the storms we've been having in the UK could be as much as £3 billion!

Oh, that's just great, that is, ain't it? / Because the government refused to spend fifty-five pence on extra flood defences, we're now facing this: £3 billion!

It's austerity. They think they can cut everything. Soon, we will have no police, no fire service, no armed forces, no nurses and doctors, no teachers ... NOTHING!

However, a handful of super-rich people will be able to get a tax cut. Yes, maybe sixty or seventy people in the country will be better off. Oh, it's all worthwhile then! It doesn't matter that we, dear reader(s), will be in the gutter, desperately fighting each other for scraps of food ...

What a life!

...

And that's all the news, my friend(s). Christ! / And it's the end of another week, thankfully. I'm absolutely convinced we'll get some decent news next week. I mean, I hope you're not blaming me, yeah? Everyone's on holiday!

Music? I'm trying to stay positive, so I've got Al Green on. His "Best of ..." collection. It's actually called Al. Perfect! Nice and simple, eh? You know what you're getting with Al.

Anything else? Uh ... use your imagination! How could there possibly be anything else? 'Come on, Mikey! There must be something.' There's nothing, Voice.

Laters.

Neil Woodford has spent a fortune on some purple bricks

I don't know what's going on. It's like a second childhood or something. 'Purple bricks, boss? Are they like Lego?' Yes, Voice. Well, I think so. 'Well, if it's good enough for Cantab Capital Partners, surely it's good enough for Viscount Dr Field Marshal Sir Screaming Lord Woodford, CBE, VC, DSO, MC.' Oh, maybe.

I don't have the exact figure on how much our Neil has spent, dear reader(s), but I can tell you that he now owns 29.1 per cent, whatever that means. 'It means he owns almost a third of all the purple bricks in existence! I wonder who owns the rest ...' Prince, I should think. And I doubt he'll be willing to sell.

...

Okay, I'll come clean: There just ain't any news around. You dig? I should have worked last week, and taken this week off. 'You'll know better next Christmas, boss.' Ha! Next Christmas?! Are you serious, Voice? I'll be living in Malibu by then, a genuine rock and roll star. I won't have any time (or enthusiasm) for financial blogging ...

Well, well ... the weather? It wasn't that sunny yesterday (in dreary London). And it's worse today. It looks like spring has been delayed. I can't get to grips with this climate change nonsense. It's all over the place!

Music? I'm listening to Blur. Best of ... album. I'm not really a fan, but ... it makes a nice change. Girls and Boys is my favourite song of theirs. Or maybe Coffee and TV. I can't decide.

Music? My music? I got some copyright protection for my songs yesterday. Copyright actually exists from the moment a song is written, but I've registered them now with a company online.

Uh, er ... guitar? It's all acoustic rhythm on my demo, of course. However, I've decided I won't make much progress with my ... ELECTRIC(!!!) lead playing until I get an Epiphone Les Paul. 'Oh, you've convinced yourself, have you, Mikey? What the fuck is wrong with your Fender Squier Telecaster?!' It's a cheap guitar, man. The tone doesn't get into your soul, yeah? I want to rock so bad/good that people will salute me ...

Marko Soldo? Talarium Capital?

Er ... / Right, I think this news is nearly a week old, but it's not my fault, man. The wonderful media have all gone on strike. 'Ha!' Yeah, they think it's a fucking holiday or something. However, some of us have to work for a living.

Marko Soldo? Marko Soldo is a man/portfolio manager who used to work at Millennium Capital Partners. Now he's got the idea in his little head that he wouldn't mind owning and running his own hedge fund - as if no one has ever done that before, for Christ's sake!!! 'Never mind, boss. Let our Marko learn the hard way.' Maybe, Voice. / Oh, I'm sure it will be a great success, this Talarium Capital. That's what he's calling it, dear reader(s). 'A name for the fund, too! Well, well ... it's certainly a good start.' Yes, these people think of everything, sometimes. And the firm will be mixed up with, er ... well, long and short European equities, so ... 'Where is it based?' London, I think. [YES(!!!)] I mean, our Marko needs approval from the FCA. Talarium hasn't even been launched yet. A long journey begins with small steps ...

Marko, son, if you're reading this, I know you're going to make a success of it, yeah? Please excuse my intern's negativity. 'Me?!' Shut up!

...

That's enough. / It's going to be sunny today. I might go to the pub, down by the river.

Music? I've got Live Cream on. The instrumental bits are best. Clapton, Bruce, and Baker playing together are better live than any other three musicians. Yes, better even than Squire, Mani, and Reni playing Fools Gold at the end of that film made by Shane Meadows.

Anything else? Ha! No - is the short answer. 'What's the long answer, Mikey?' Er ... no, no, no, no, no, and NO!!! / And you can't blame me, reader(s). Are finance people naturally lazy? I don't know. I'm here, I'm ready, I'm waiting for ... news. Even a PR email would be nice. I got one last night about leather bags. 'Ha!' How the fuck is that relevant to this blog?!

Laters.

[No. 377] Live forever

Burn out or fade away? No!!!!!!

And who wants to live forever?[1], and, uh, we live our lives in the CITY(!), and there's no easy way out ... but, but, BUT(!) ...[1], and who wants to live forever?[2], and I'm dreaming of St Ives ...[1], and, uh, we live our lives in the CITY(!), and there's no easy way out ... but, but, BUT(!) ...[2], and once you're really GONE(!) you can always come back / My personal guarantee, man[1], and I'm dreaming of St Ives ...[2], and I'm not stuck here ... no, no, no![1], and once you're really GONE(!) you can always come back / My personal guarantee, man[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / You gotta believe that there is no END[1], and I'm not stuck here ... no, no, no![2], and the king is rolling ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / You gotta believe that there is no END[2], and ... / YOU(!) ... oh yes, and I, babe, we're gonna LIVE FOREVER!!! / Physical and astral ...[1], and the king is rolling ...[2], and we will be together in the morning rain on Porth Kidney Sands - if you want it[1], and ... / YOU(!) ... oh yes, and I, babe, we're gonna LIVE FOREVER!!! / Physical and astral ...[2], and there is NOTHING to hide ...[1], and we will be together in the morning rain on Porth Kidney Sands - if you want it[2], and I know YOU(!) ... can't stop spinning your DIZZY(!) little head so full of pain - and pleasure, too[1], and there is NOTHING to hide ...[2], and ... slow down[1], and I know YOU(!) ... can't stop spinning your DIZZY(!) little head so full of pain - and pleasure, too[2], and I know you want to get beyond the THREE, babe, like it's some sort of fucking rainbow, but ...[1], and ... slow down[2], and I've been told: "There is more to life", ha![1], and I know you want to get beyond the THREE, babe, like it's some sort of fucking rainbow, but ...[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Oh, maybe we should just forget ...[1], and I've been told: "There is more to life", ha![2], and one more spin to oblivion![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Oh, maybe we should just forget ...[2], and one, two, THREE ... / and one, two, THREE ... / and one, two, THREE ...[1], and one more spin to oblivion![2], and if I could only remember all the words ... / Fortunately, I have all these feelings ...[1], and one, two, THREE ... / and one, two, THREE ... / and one, two, THREE ...[2], and fade ...[1], and if I could only remember all the words ... / Fortunately, I have all these feelings ...[2], and let us sit on a bench in Cornwall and stare at the sea, so free / Who will stop us?[1], and fade ...[2], and who wants to live forever?[3], and let us sit on a bench in Cornwall and stare at the sea, so free / Who will stop us?[2], and, uh, we live our lives in the CITY(!), and there's no easy way out ... but, but, BUT(!) ...[3], and I'm dreaming of St Ives ...[3], and once you're really GONE(!) you can always come back / My personal guarantee, man[3], and I'm not stuck here ... no, no, no![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / You gotta believe that there is no END[3], and the king is rolling ...[3], and ... / YOU(!) ... oh yes, and I, babe, we're gonna LIVE FOREVER!!! / Physical and astral ...[3], and we will be together in the morning rain on Porth Kidney Sands - if you want it[3], and there is NOTHING to hide ...[3], and I know YOU(!) ... can't stop spinning your DIZZY(!) little head so full of pain - and pleasure, too[3], and ... slow down[3], and I know you want to get beyond the THREE, babe, like it's some sort of fucking rainbow, but ...[3], and I've been told: "There is more to life", ha![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Oh, maybe we should just forget ...[3], and one more spin to oblivion![3], and one, two, THREE ... / and one, two, THREE ... / and one, two, THREE ...[3], and if I could only remember all the words ... / Fortunately, I have all these feelings ...[3], and fade ...[3], and let us sit on a bench in Cornwall and stare at the sea, so free / Who will stop us?[3], and

And who wants to live forever?[1], and, uh, we live our lives in the CITY(!), and there's no easy way out ... but, but, BUT(!) ...[1], and who wants to live forever?[2], and I'm dreaming of St Ives ...[1], and, uh, we live our lives in the CITY(!), and there's no easy way out ... but, but, BUT(!) ...[2], and once you're really GONE(!) you can always come back / My personal guarantee, man[1], and I'm dreaming of St Ives ...[2], and I'm not stuck here ... no, no, no![1], and once you're really GONE(!) you can always come back / My personal guarantee, man[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / You gotta believe that there is no END[1], and I'm not stuck here ... no, no, no![2], and the king is rolling ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / You gotta believe that there is no END[2], and ... / YOU(!) ... oh yes, and I, babe, we're gonna LIVE FOREVER!!! / Physical and astral ...[1], and the king is rolling ...[2], and we will be together in the morning rain on Porth Kidney Sands - if you want it[1], and ... / YOU(!) ... oh yes, and I, babe, we're gonna LIVE FOREVER!!! / Physical and astral ...[2], and there is NOTHING to hide ...[1], and we will be together in the morning rain on Porth Kidney Sands - if you want it[2], and I know YOU(!) ... can't stop spinning your DIZZY(!) little head so full of pain - and pleasure, too[1], and there is NOTHING to hide ...[2], and ... slow down[1], and I know YOU(!) ... can't stop spinning your DIZZY(!) little head so full of pain - and pleasure, too[2], and I know you want to get beyond the THREE, babe, like it's some sort of fucking rainbow, but ...[1], and ... slow down[2], and I've been told: "There is more to life", ha![1], and I know you want to get beyond the THREE, babe, like it's some sort of fucking rainbow, but ...[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Oh, maybe we should just forget ...[1], and I've been told: "There is more to life", ha![2], and one more spin to oblivion![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Oh, maybe we should just forget ...[2], and one, two, THREE ... / and one, two, THREE ... / and one, two, THREE ...[1], and one more spin to oblivion![2], and if I could only remember all the words ... / Fortunately, I have all these feelings ...[1], and one, two, THREE ... / and one, two, THREE ... / and one, two, THREE ...[2], and fade ...[1], and if I could only remember all the words ... / Fortunately, I have all these feelings ...[2], and let us sit on a bench in Cornwall and stare at the sea, so free / Who will stop us?[1], and fade ...[2], and who wants to live forever?[3], and let us sit on a bench in Cornwall and stare at the sea, so free / Who will stop us?[2], and, uh, we live our lives in the CITY(!), and there's no easy way out ... but, but, BUT(!) ...[3], and I'm dreaming of St Ives ...[3], and once you're really GONE(!) you can always come back / My personal guarantee, man[3], and I'm not stuck here ... no, no, no![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / You gotta believe that there is no END[3], and the king is rolling ...[3], and ... / YOU(!) ... oh yes, and I, babe, we're gonna LIVE FOREVER!!! / Physical and astral ...[3], and we will be together in the morning rain on Porth Kidney Sands - if you want it[3], and there is NOTHING to hide ...[3], and I know YOU(!) ... can't stop spinning your DIZZY(!) little head so full of pain - and pleasure, too[3], and ... slow down[3], and I know you want to get beyond the THREE, babe, like it's some sort of fucking rainbow, but ...[3], and I've been told: "There is more to life", ha![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Oh, maybe we should just forget ...[3], and one more spin to oblivion![3], and one, two, THREE ... / and one, two, THREE ... / and one, two, THREE ...[3], and if I could only remember all the words ... / Fortunately, I have all these feelings ...[3], and fade ...[3], and let us sit on a bench in Cornwall and stare at the sea, so free / Who will stop us?[3], and

And who wants to live forever?[1], and, uh, we live our lives in the CITY(!), and there's no easy way out ... but, but, BUT(!) ...[1], and who wants to live forever?[2], and I'm dreaming of St Ives ...[1], and, uh, we live our lives in the CITY(!), and there's no easy way out ... but, but, BUT(!) ...[2], and once you're really GONE(!) you can always come back / My personal guarantee, man[1], and I'm dreaming of St Ives ...[2], and I'm not stuck here ... no, no, no![1], and once you're really GONE(!) you can always come back / My personal guarantee, man[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / You gotta believe that there is no END[1], and I'm not stuck here ... no, no, no![2], and the king is rolling ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / You gotta believe that there is no END[2], and ... / YOU(!) ... oh yes, and I, babe, we're gonna LIVE FOREVER!!! / Physical and astral ...[1], and the king is rolling ...[2], and we will be together in the morning rain on Porth Kidney Sands - if you want it[1], and ... / YOU(!) ... oh yes, and I, babe, we're gonna LIVE FOREVER!!! / Physical and astral ...[2], and there is NOTHING to hide ...[1], and we will be together in the morning rain on Porth Kidney Sands - if you want it[2], and I know YOU(!) ... can't stop spinning your DIZZY(!) little head so full of pain - and pleasure, too[1], and there is NOTHING to hide ...[2], and ... slow down[1], and I know YOU(!) ... can't stop spinning your DIZZY(!) little head so full of pain - and pleasure, too[2], and I know you want to get beyond the THREE, babe, like it's some sort of fucking rainbow, but ...[1], and ... slow down[2], and I've been told: "There is more to life", ha![1], and I know you want to get beyond the THREE, babe, like it's some sort of fucking rainbow, but ...[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Oh, maybe we should just forget ...[1], and I've been told: "There is more to life", ha![2], and one more spin to oblivion![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Oh, maybe we should just forget ...[2], and one, two, THREE ... / and one, two, THREE ... / and one, two, THREE ...[1], and one more spin to oblivion![2], and if I could only remember all the words ... / Fortunately, I have all these feelings ...[1], and one, two, THREE ... / and one, two, THREE ... / and one, two, THREE ...[2], and fade ...[1], and if I could only remember all the words ... / Fortunately, I have all these feelings ...[2], and let us sit on a bench in Cornwall and stare at the sea, so free / Who will stop us?[1], and fade ...[2], and who wants to live forever?[3], and let us sit on a bench in Cornwall and stare at the sea, so free / Who will stop us?[2], and, uh, we live our lives in the CITY(!), and there's no easy way out ... but, but, BUT(!) ...[3], and I'm dreaming of St Ives ...[3], and once you're really GONE(!) you can always come back / My personal guarantee, man[3], and I'm not stuck here ... no, no, no![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / You gotta believe that there is no END[3], and the king is rolling ...[3], and ... / YOU(!) ... oh yes, and I, babe, we're gonna LIVE FOREVER!!! / Physical and astral ...[3], and we will be together in the morning rain on Porth Kidney Sands - if you want it[3], and there is NOTHING to hide ...[3], and I know YOU(!) ... can't stop spinning your DIZZY(!) little head so full of pain - and pleasure, too[3], and ... slow down[3], and I know you want to get beyond the THREE, babe, like it's some sort of fucking rainbow, but ...[3], and I've been told: "There is more to life", ha![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Oh, maybe we should just forget ...[3], and one more spin to oblivion![3], and one, two, THREE ... / and one, two, THREE ... / and one, two, THREE ...[3], and if I could only remember all the words ... / Fortunately, I have all these feelings ...[3], and fade ...[3], and let us sit on a bench in Cornwall and stare at the sea, so free / Who will stop us?[3], and

Over half of global investors plan to increase their real estate allocation!!!

Yeah, er, it's the Monday morning PR email ... back by, er, popular demand. 'Monday morning, boss? And that email is a week old!' I ain't got no choice, son. There's no news. It's this PR email or ... NOTHING!!! 'I prefer nothing.' Shut it!

More than half of investors plan to increase real estate allocations within multi-asset portfolios, according to a major new report by Colliers International. Yields are likely to compress further with 52 percent of respondents to the firm's Global Investor Outlook (GIO) for 2016 survey saying they would move more money into real estate next year. Combined with relatively low levels of debt - compared with the previous market peaks - this flood of capital would further cement a long-term climate of stability for global real estate returns. The GIO for 2016 found that despite a reduced appetite for risk, debt would play a greater role in the market next year as investors seek to boost cash-on-cash returns. Colliers, a NASDAQ-listed global property company, estimates that up to US$400 billion of institutional funding could begin chasing global real estate to diversify and stop an ongoing bleed of cash driven by the underperformance of traditional fixed-income investments.

An ongoing bleed of cash ... well, well. / I don't have much to add. I don't have anything to add. I'm still gutted about Christmas, dear reader(s), to tell you the truth. 'Oh dear! What happened, Mikey?' Nothing bad, Voice. BUT(!) ... one minute I was stuffing my face with Black Magic chocolates and working my way through a box set of Only Fools and Horses, and the next minute ... I'm back here, man, writing this shit. WHERE DID ALL THE GOOD TIMES GO?!?! 'Don't be sad. There'll be other good times soon. What about your music?' Next week. So ... watch this space.

...

Music? What have I got on? Oasis, Definitely Maybe. / I was listening to their early stuff online yesterday, the Live Demonstration cassette from 1993. It's actually rougher than my demo - but they have the advantage of a full band, of course. I'm just me with an acoustic guitar. I'm not complaining ...

Electric! / Oh, I've got to get that Epiphone Les Paul I told you about, reader(s). Noel Gallagher had one before he could afford a proper Gibson Les Paul, so ... I want that classic Beano sound, you dig? 'Eh? Beano?!' The Eric Clapton album with John Mayall's Blues Breakers. 1966! The album that invented the concept of the guitar hero, a year before Hendrix.

...

Beano on NOW!

Expect and prepare for market volatility in 2016, investors warned

Oh dear! / Yeah, it's the Thursday night PR email, back by popular demand. I actually received it before the Fed rate rise, but it's still relevant -

Investors should expect and prepare for volatility across global financial markets in the first half of 2016, warns a leading investment analyst at one of the world's largest independent financial advisory organizations.

Lovely! Happy Christmas!

The warning from Tom Elliott, senior international investment strategist at deVere Group, comes ahead of the Federal Reserve's highly anticipated rate announcement this week, and after the recent acrimonious OPEC meeting which triggered a collapse in the oil price. / Mr Elliott affirms: "Investors should expect volatile financial markets in the first half of next year, as stock and bond markets learn how aggressive the Fed is likely to be in its monetary tightening. There are, however, a few safe bets. The European Central Bank (ECB) last week revealed itself to be less willing to expand its QE program than had been supposed, which somewhat undermines the strong dollar/weak euro bet that underlies much stock and bond market asset allocation."

Oh, there's more, of course. But I think we've had enough, don't you, dear reader(s)? Someone should tell this Tommy Elliott character that it's Christmas. 'You tell him, boss!' We just want to enjoy ourselves now. We don't want to start crapping ourselves about next year. / And what did Seneca say? Well, he said: A man who suffers before it is necessary, suffers more than is necessary. 'Brilliant, Mikey!' Yes, Voice. It's one of my favourite sayings.

So, if you're reading this, Tommy ... you're out of order, son, all right? You should spend a bit more time eating mince pies, and not so much time worrying about shit you can't control. We all know the world is a sewer, Tommy. We don't need you making it worse.

...

Ah, that's enough, already! / I'm taking next week off, so I'll see you again, kook(s), after Christmas. I hope you have a nice time and that. Laters.

[No. 376] James Harries is a blue man

Not depressed. Just blue. Like Krishna.

And from Newton to Troy ... / Why bother? Seriously![1], and it's a ... funny old world, the finance world - so full of surprises! Uh / Ha! 'Ha!' Ha![1], and from Newton to Troy ... / Why bother? Seriously![2], and I ain't gonna judge a blue-skinned man riding a-ROUND my dreams/nightmares on a white horse[1], and it's a ... funny old world, the finance world - so full of surprises! Uh / Ha! 'Ha!' Ha![2], and here ... is Jimmy - ? YES![1], and I ain't gonna judge a blue-skinned man riding a-ROUND my dreams/nightmares on a white horse[2], and people are STRANGE(!) when you're a STRANGER(!) ... or even when you're a personal friend, so ...[1], and here ... is Jimmy - ? YES![2], and look at this weird land!!![1], and people are STRANGE(!) when you're a STRANGER(!) ... or even when you're a personal friend, so ...[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / This ... ain't the Grand National, son![1], and look at this weird land!!![2], and it's my damn consciousness[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / This ... ain't the Grand National, son![2], and I'm no friend of no BLUE MAN, sorry / No, not even that Krishna / But the horse is all right ...[1], and it's my damn consciousness[2], and I imagine things, really[1], and I'm no friend of no BLUE MAN, sorry / No, not even that Krishna / But the horse is all right ...[2], and YOU(!) might want to think ... that I can't go any further ... but I can![1], and I imagine things, really[2], and I am very dedicated, I suppose[1], and YOU(!) might want to think ... that I can't go any further ... but I can![2], and a NORMAL person would probably find a NORMAL explanation ... / 'Ha! I hate those slags'[1], and I am very dedicated, I suppose[2], and like a broken record ... record?![1], and a NORMAL person would probably find a NORMAL explanation ... / 'Ha! I hate those slags'[2], and a bad habit? I don't know, man / ... / ... I would like to cut down to one a week ...[1], and like a broken record ... record?![2], and from Newton to Troy ... / Why bother? Seriously![3], and a bad habit? I don't know, man / ... / ... I would like to cut down to one a week ...[2], and it's a ... funny old world, the finance world - so full of surprises! Uh / Ha! 'Ha!' Ha![3], and I ain't gonna judge a blue-skinned man riding a-ROUND my dreams/nightmares on a white horse[3], and here ... is Jimmy - ? YES![3], and people are STRANGE(!) when you're a STRANGER(!) ... or even when you're a personal friend, so ...[3], and look at this weird land!!![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / This ... ain't the Grand National, son![3], and it's my damn consciousness[3], and I'm no friend of no BLUE MAN, sorry / No, not even that Krishna / But the horse is all right ...[3], and I imagine things, really[3], and YOU(!) might want to think ... that I can't go any further ... but I can![3], and I am very dedicated, I suppose[3], and a NORMAL person would probably find a NORMAL explanation ... / 'Ha! I hate those slags'[3], and like a broken record ... record?![3], and a bad habit? I don't know, man / ... / ... I would like to cut down to one a week ...[3], and

And from Newton to Troy ... / Why bother? Seriously![1], and it's a ... funny old world, the finance world - so full of surprises! Uh / Ha! 'Ha!' Ha![1], and from Newton to Troy ... / Why bother? Seriously![2], and I ain't gonna judge a blue-skinned man riding a-ROUND my dreams/nightmares on a white horse[1], and it's a ... funny old world, the finance world - so full of surprises! Uh / Ha! 'Ha!' Ha![2], and here ... is Jimmy - ? YES![1], and I ain't gonna judge a blue-skinned man riding a-ROUND my dreams/nightmares on a white horse[2], and people are STRANGE(!) when you're a STRANGER(!) ... or even when you're a personal friend, so ...[1], and here ... is Jimmy - ? YES![2], and look at this weird land!!![1], and people are STRANGE(!) when you're a STRANGER(!) ... or even when you're a personal friend, so ...[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / This ... ain't the Grand National, son![1], and look at this weird land!!![2], and it's my damn consciousness[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / This ... ain't the Grand National, son![2], and I'm no friend of no BLUE MAN, sorry / No, not even that Krishna / But the horse is all right ...[1], and it's my damn consciousness[2], and I imagine things, really[1], and I'm no friend of no BLUE MAN, sorry / No, not even that Krishna / But the horse is all right ...[2], and YOU(!) might want to think ... that I can't go any further ... but I can![1], and I imagine things, really[2], and I am very dedicated, I suppose[1], and YOU(!) might want to think ... that I can't go any further ... but I can![2], and a NORMAL person would probably find a NORMAL explanation ... / 'Ha! I hate those slags'[1], and I am very dedicated, I suppose[2], and like a broken record ... record?![1], and a NORMAL person would probably find a NORMAL explanation ... / 'Ha! I hate those slags'[2], and a bad habit? I don't know, man / ... / ... I would like to cut down to one a week ...[1], and like a broken record ... record?![2], and from Newton to Troy ... / Why bother? Seriously![3], and a bad habit? I don't know, man / ... / ... I would like to cut down to one a week ...[2], and it's a ... funny old world, the finance world - so full of surprises! Uh / Ha! 'Ha!' Ha![3], and I ain't gonna judge a blue-skinned man riding a-ROUND my dreams/nightmares on a white horse[3], and here ... is Jimmy - ? YES![3], and people are STRANGE(!) when you're a STRANGER(!) ... or even when you're a personal friend, so ...[3], and look at this weird land!!![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / This ... ain't the Grand National, son![3], and it's my damn consciousness[3], and I'm no friend of no BLUE MAN, sorry / No, not even that Krishna / But the horse is all right ...[3], and I imagine things, really[3], and YOU(!) might want to think ... that I can't go any further ... but I can![3], and I am very dedicated, I suppose[3], and a NORMAL person would probably find a NORMAL explanation ... / 'Ha! I hate those slags'[3], and like a broken record ... record?![3], and a bad habit? I don't know, man / ... / ... I would like to cut down to one a week ...[3], and

And from Newton to Troy ... / Why bother? Seriously![1], and it's a ... funny old world, the finance world - so full of surprises! Uh / Ha! 'Ha!' Ha![1], and from Newton to Troy ... / Why bother? Seriously![2], and I ain't gonna judge a blue-skinned man riding a-ROUND my dreams/nightmares on a white horse[1], and it's a ... funny old world, the finance world - so full of surprises! Uh / Ha! 'Ha!' Ha![2], and here ... is Jimmy - ? YES![1], and I ain't gonna judge a blue-skinned man riding a-ROUND my dreams/nightmares on a white horse[2], and people are STRANGE(!) when you're a STRANGER(!) ... or even when you're a personal friend, so ...[1], and here ... is Jimmy - ? YES![2], and look at this weird land!!![1], and people are STRANGE(!) when you're a STRANGER(!) ... or even when you're a personal friend, so ...[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / This ... ain't the Grand National, son![1], and look at this weird land!!![2], and it's my damn consciousness[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / This ... ain't the Grand National, son![2], and I'm no friend of no BLUE MAN, sorry / No, not even that Krishna / But the horse is all right ...[1], and it's my damn consciousness[2], and I imagine things, really[1], and I'm no friend of no BLUE MAN, sorry / No, not even that Krishna / But the horse is all right ...[2], and YOU(!) might want to think ... that I can't go any further ... but I can![1], and I imagine things, really[2], and I am very dedicated, I suppose[1], and YOU(!) might want to think ... that I can't go any further ... but I can![2], and a NORMAL person would probably find a NORMAL explanation ... / 'Ha! I hate those slags'[1], and I am very dedicated, I suppose[2], and like a broken record ... record?![1], and a NORMAL person would probably find a NORMAL explanation ... / 'Ha! I hate those slags'[2], and a bad habit? I don't know, man / ... / ... I would like to cut down to one a week ...[1], and like a broken record ... record?![2], and from Newton to Troy ... / Why bother? Seriously![3], and a bad habit? I don't know, man / ... / ... I would like to cut down to one a week ...[2], and it's a ... funny old world, the finance world - so full of surprises! Uh / Ha! 'Ha!' Ha![3], and I ain't gonna judge a blue-skinned man riding a-ROUND my dreams/nightmares on a white horse[3], and here ... is Jimmy - ? YES![3], and people are STRANGE(!) when you're a STRANGER(!) ... or even when you're a personal friend, so ...[3], and look at this weird land!!![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / This ... ain't the Grand National, son![3], and it's my damn consciousness[3], and I'm no friend of no BLUE MAN, sorry / No, not even that Krishna / But the horse is all right ...[3], and I imagine things, really[3], and YOU(!) might want to think ... that I can't go any further ... but I can![3], and I am very dedicated, I suppose[3], and a NORMAL person would probably find a NORMAL explanation ... / 'Ha! I hate those slags'[3], and like a broken record ... record?![3], and a bad habit? I don't know, man / ... / ... I would like to cut down to one a week ...[3], and 

James Harries has joined Troy Asset Management

Yes, he's left Newton. He was a fund manager there, as YOU(!!!) ... would expect him to have been - ? ... Anyway, after Christmas, in the new year [I'm not using capitals, it's bullshit] ... er, he'll start work at Troy. Something to do with balanced funds, whatever they are. / So ... 'You're not telling us everything, are you, boss?' Well ... 'He's a blue man, ain't he, this Mr Harries? He ain't a real human being.' [Ha! Who is, these days?] No ... ha! That's just a rumour. There's been a rumour going around [a-ROUND? Later!] for quite a while, dear reader(s), but - 'Now we have the proof!' Maybe, Voice, maybe.

You see, uh, there's a picture of him, on a website, and ... well, he's just a blue man, from head to toe. He doesn't have any, er, features, you know? No hair, eyes, mouth, nose. His hands and feet look a bit dodgy, too, and - 'The dirty bastard doesn't even have any clothes on, Mikey!' Oh, come on! [Don't judge him!] 'And his head is round like a football!' Yes, yes ... and he's running towards an open door. [Why?!?! Desperate to escape?] Jesus! I mean, that's the picture. [Don't blame me!] 'Is he a thought-form from the astral plane?' Er ... it's not impossible.

Well, well ... / And why ... Troy?! That's the question. Why does Troy want ... what is basically a cartoon man? 'He might be cheap.' And then there's the horse!!! I suppose he'll be riding around [a-ROUND? Later!] on the horse now. 'What fucking horse?!' Those nutters at Troy Asset Management have a horse in their office. It's a nice-looking white horse. It seems pretty melancholic though. 'Well, wouldn't you be, locked up in a fucking office in the City? Or Mayfair? Wherever it is. Horses want to run wild, man!'

Yeah ... / Christ! I don't really need this before Christmas. Not that it's my problem. I just - 'The best thing, boss, is if Mr Harries jumps on the horse and rides out of the office, into the sunset, as it were, or ... will be.' They'll have to change that picture, Voice. It will have to show a blue cartoon man on a white horse, galloping out of the door. / But it's not my problem ...

[No. 375] Let the good times roll

The bad times have gone! Unless they're coming a-ROUND again. I don't know. Just be careful, you dig? Keep your eyes open, my friend(s).

And ... TIME![1], and here we are, again ... LOOK AT ME!!! / and you know I'm looking at you, kid ...[1], and ... TIME![2], and I'm rolling a-ROUND on the floor of my mind, and, er, the ceiling, whatever this is supposed to mean ...[1], and here we are, again ... LOOK AT ME!!! / and you know I'm looking at you, kid ...[2], and my soul is DIZZY(!) / and that's the honest truth[1], and I'm rolling a-ROUND on the floor of my mind, and, er, the ceiling, whatever this is supposed to mean ...[2], and I can feel you ...[1], and my soul is DIZZY(!) / and that's the honest truth[2], and I'm rolling a-ROUND with my electric buzzing head staring at the lights, blue, yellow, red[1], and I can feel you ...[2], and I'll start a NEW REVOLUTION, with or without you, believe me[1], and I'm rolling a-ROUND with my electric buzzing head staring at the lights, blue, yellow, red[2], and YOU(!) ... YES(!!!) ... YOU(!) better get DIZZY(!) or die tryin' / It's the only game in town[1], and I'll start a NEW REVOLUTION, with or without you, believe me[2], and the desert, the emptiness, is calling me again / uh, astral and physical, offering the purest insanity known to Man, man!!![1], and YOU(!) ... YES(!!!) ... YOU(!) better get DIZZY(!) or die tryin' / It's the only game in town[2], and all the rollers and rockers are welcome ...[1], and the desert, the emptiness, is calling me again / uh, astral and physical, offering the purest insanity known to Man, man!!![2], and I've got more than the DIZZY(!) life / You haven't lived yet, so follow me, please, further - on![1], and all the rollers and rockers are welcome ...[2], and I'll rock you to oblivion[1], and I've got more than the DIZZY(!) life / You haven't lived yet, so follow me, please, further - on![2], and I'm trying to stay positive, but ... never mind ... / ... / ... NOTHING matters, it really does ...[1], and I'll rock you to oblivion[2], and I've rolled through enough bad times looking for some pot of gold at the end of a fucking rainbow ...[1], and I'm trying to stay positive, but ... never mind ... / ... / ... NOTHING matters, it really does ...[2], and I still believe, believe me[1], and I've rolled through enough bad times looking for some pot of gold at the end of a fucking rainbow ...[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Oh, it will never go out of fashion![1], and I still believe, believe me[2], and make your move, NOW(!!!)[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Oh, it will never go out of fashion![2], and, baby, baby, listen ... if you're rolling in blood and fire ... oh, baby, I'm here for YOU(!)[1], and make your move, NOW(!!!)[2], and ... TIME![3], and, baby, baby, listen ... if you're rolling in blood and fire ... oh, baby, I'm here for YOU(!)[2], and here we are, again ... LOOK AT ME!!! / and you know I'm looking at you, kid ...[3], and I'm rolling a-ROUND on the floor of my mind, and, er, the ceiling, whatever this is supposed to mean ...[3], and my soul is DIZZY(!) / and that's the honest truth[3], and I can feel you ...[3], and I'm rolling a-ROUND with my electric buzzing head staring at the lights, blue, yellow, red[3], and I'll start a NEW REVOLUTION, with or without you, believe me[3], and YOU(!) ... YES(!!!) ... YOU(!) better get DIZZY(!) or die tryin' / It's the only game in town[3], and the desert, the emptiness, is calling me again / uh, astral and physical, offering the purest insanity known to Man, man!!![3], and all the rollers and rockers are welcome ...[3], and I've got more than the DIZZY(!) life / You haven't lived yet, so follow me, please, further - on![3], and I'll rock you to oblivion[3], and I'm trying to stay positive, but ... never mind ... / ... / ... NOTHING matters, it really does ...[3], and I've rolled through enough bad times looking for some pot of gold at the end of a fucking rainbow ...[3], and I still believe, believe me[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Oh, it will never go out of fashion![3], and make your move, NOW(!!!)[3], and, baby, baby, listen ... if you're rolling in blood and fire ... oh, baby, I'm here for YOU(!)[3], and

And ... TIME![1], and here we are, again ... LOOK AT ME!!! / and you know I'm looking at you, kid ...[1], and ... TIME![2], and I'm rolling a-ROUND on the floor of my mind, and, er, the ceiling, whatever this is supposed to mean ...[1], and here we are, again ... LOOK AT ME!!! / and you know I'm looking at you, kid ...[2], and my soul is DIZZY(!) / and that's the honest truth[1], and I'm rolling a-ROUND on the floor of my mind, and, er, the ceiling, whatever this is supposed to mean ...[2], and I can feel you ...[1], and my soul is DIZZY(!) / and that's the honest truth[2], and I'm rolling a-ROUND with my electric buzzing head staring at the lights, blue, yellow, red[1], and I can feel you ...[2], and I'll start a NEW REVOLUTION, with or without you, believe me[1], and I'm rolling a-ROUND with my electric buzzing head staring at the lights, blue, yellow, red[2], and YOU(!) ... YES(!!!) ... YOU(!) better get DIZZY(!) or die tryin' / It's the only game in town[1], and I'll start a NEW REVOLUTION, with or without you, believe me[2], and the desert, the emptiness, is calling me again / uh, astral and physical, offering the purest insanity known to Man, man!!![1], and YOU(!) ... YES(!!!) ... YOU(!) better get DIZZY(!) or die tryin' / It's the only game in town[2], and all the rollers and rockers are welcome ...[1], and the desert, the emptiness, is calling me again / uh, astral and physical, offering the purest insanity known to Man, man!!![2], and I've got more than the DIZZY(!) life / You haven't lived yet, so follow me, please, further - on![1], and all the rollers and rockers are welcome ...[2], and I'll rock you to oblivion[1], and I've got more than the DIZZY(!) life / You haven't lived yet, so follow me, please, further - on![2], and I'm trying to stay positive, but ... never mind ... / ... / ... NOTHING matters, it really does ...[1], and I'll rock you to oblivion[2], and I've rolled through enough bad times looking for some pot of gold at the end of a fucking rainbow ...[1], and I'm trying to stay positive, but ... never mind ... / ... / ... NOTHING matters, it really does ...[2], and I still believe, believe me[1], and I've rolled through enough bad times looking for some pot of gold at the end of a fucking rainbow ...[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Oh, it will never go out of fashion![1], and I still believe, believe me[2], and make your move, NOW(!!!)[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Oh, it will never go out of fashion![2], and, baby, baby, listen ... if you're rolling in blood and fire ... oh, baby, I'm here for YOU(!)[1], and make your move, NOW(!!!)[2], and ... TIME![3], and, baby, baby, listen ... if you're rolling in blood and fire ... oh, baby, I'm here for YOU(!)[2], and here we are, again ... LOOK AT ME!!! / and you know I'm looking at you, kid ...[3], and I'm rolling a-ROUND on the floor of my mind, and, er, the ceiling, whatever this is supposed to mean ...[3], and my soul is DIZZY(!) / and that's the honest truth[3], and I can feel you ...[3], and I'm rolling a-ROUND with my electric buzzing head staring at the lights, blue, yellow, red[3], and I'll start a NEW REVOLUTION, with or without you, believe me[3], and YOU(!) ... YES(!!!) ... YOU(!) better get DIZZY(!) or die tryin' / It's the only game in town[3], and the desert, the emptiness, is calling me again / uh, astral and physical, offering the purest insanity known to Man, man!!![3], and all the rollers and rockers are welcome ...[3], and I've got more than the DIZZY(!) life / You haven't lived yet, so follow me, please, further - on![3], and I'll rock you to oblivion[3], and I'm trying to stay positive, but ... never mind ... / ... / ... NOTHING matters, it really does ...[3], and I've rolled through enough bad times looking for some pot of gold at the end of a fucking rainbow ...[3], and I still believe, believe me[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Oh, it will never go out of fashion![3], and make your move, NOW(!!!)[3], and, baby, baby, listen ... if you're rolling in blood and fire ... oh, baby, I'm here for YOU(!)[3], and

And ... TIME![1], and here we are, again ... LOOK AT ME!!! / and you know I'm looking at you, kid ...[1], and ... TIME![2], and I'm rolling a-ROUND on the floor of my mind, and, er, the ceiling, whatever this is supposed to mean ...[1], and here we are, again ... LOOK AT ME!!! / and you know I'm looking at you, kid ...[2], and my soul is DIZZY(!) / and that's the honest truth[1], and I'm rolling a-ROUND on the floor of my mind, and, er, the ceiling, whatever this is supposed to mean ...[2], and I can feel you ...[1], and my soul is DIZZY(!) / and that's the honest truth[2], and I'm rolling a-ROUND with my electric buzzing head staring at the lights, blue, yellow, red[1], and I can feel you ...[2], and I'll start a NEW REVOLUTION, with or without you, believe me[1], and I'm rolling a-ROUND with my electric buzzing head staring at the lights, blue, yellow, red[2], and YOU(!) ... YES(!!!) ... YOU(!) better get DIZZY(!) or die tryin' / It's the only game in town[1], and I'll start a NEW REVOLUTION, with or without you, believe me[2], and the desert, the emptiness, is calling me again / uh, astral and physical, offering the purest insanity known to Man, man!!![1], and YOU(!) ... YES(!!!) ... YOU(!) better get DIZZY(!) or die tryin' / It's the only game in town[2], and all the rollers and rockers are welcome ...[1], and the desert, the emptiness, is calling me again / uh, astral and physical, offering the purest insanity known to Man, man!!![2], and I've got more than the DIZZY(!) life / You haven't lived yet, so follow me, please, further - on![1], and all the rollers and rockers are welcome ...[2], and I'll rock you to oblivion[1], and I've got more than the DIZZY(!) life / You haven't lived yet, so follow me, please, further - on![2], and I'm trying to stay positive, but ... never mind ... / ... / ... NOTHING matters, it really does ...[1], and I'll rock you to oblivion[2], and I've rolled through enough bad times looking for some pot of gold at the end of a fucking rainbow ...[1], and I'm trying to stay positive, but ... never mind ... / ... / ... NOTHING matters, it really does ...[2], and I still believe, believe me[1], and I've rolled through enough bad times looking for some pot of gold at the end of a fucking rainbow ...[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Oh, it will never go out of fashion![1], and I still believe, believe me[2], and make your move, NOW(!!!)[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Oh, it will never go out of fashion![2], and, baby, baby, listen ... if you're rolling in blood and fire ... oh, baby, I'm here for YOU(!)[1], and make your move, NOW(!!!)[2], and ... TIME![3], and, baby, baby, listen ... if you're rolling in blood and fire ... oh, baby, I'm here for YOU(!)[2], and here we are, again ... LOOK AT ME!!! / and you know I'm looking at you, kid ...[3], and I'm rolling a-ROUND on the floor of my mind, and, er, the ceiling, whatever this is supposed to mean ...[3], and my soul is DIZZY(!) / and that's the honest truth[3], and I can feel you ...[3], and I'm rolling a-ROUND with my electric buzzing head staring at the lights, blue, yellow, red[3], and I'll start a NEW REVOLUTION, with or without you, believe me[3], and YOU(!) ... YES(!!!) ... YOU(!) better get DIZZY(!) or die tryin' / It's the only game in town[3], and the desert, the emptiness, is calling me again / uh, astral and physical, offering the purest insanity known to Man, man!!![3], and all the rollers and rockers are welcome ...[3], and I've got more than the DIZZY(!) life / You haven't lived yet, so follow me, please, further - on![3], and I'll rock you to oblivion[3], and I'm trying to stay positive, but ... never mind ... / ... / ... NOTHING matters, it really does ...[3], and I've rolled through enough bad times looking for some pot of gold at the end of a fucking rainbow ...[3], and I still believe, believe me[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / Oh, it will never go out of fashion![3], and make your move, NOW(!!!)[3], and, baby, baby, listen ... if you're rolling in blood and fire ... oh, baby, I'm here for YOU(!)[3], and

Thomas Melcher is the new chief investment officer!

Well done, Tommy, mate! You deserve it. / Ah, well, that's all the news, dear reader(s). I told you I was going to be running out. Maybe tomorrow I'll break open a couple of the emergency PR emails I've put in a special folder. 'New chief investment officer? Come on, boss, you can tell us more that that!' Can I? 'Where does this Tommy Melcher character work, for one?' Is it important to you, Voice? 'No, but your readers will want to know.' Readers. Jesus! Okay. Mr Thomas Melcher works at PNC Asset Management Group, over in America somewhere ... 'Yeah. And?' And he's the new chief investment officer ... 'It's like getting blood from a stone!' Christ! He's replacing James Dunigan, who's had enough.

...

I'll tell you what, dear reader(s), I've had enough. I just want to get started on the mince pies, you know? 'It's too early yet, Mikey.'

Well ... is it too early for the Phil Spector album? 'The Christmas one?' Obviously the Christmas one. / Christmas! Baby, please come home!

Oh, PNC Asset Management Group manages $48 billion, roughly, in institutional assets. So ...

Never mind ... / You don't care, do you? You just want to get started on the mince pies, yourself. 'I don't like mince pies. I haven't even got a mouth.' Shut up! I wasn't talking to you, Voice. I was talking to them. 'Ha! Them!' Why are you hanging around, man? Haven't you got any presents to buy? 'No. I've done it all.' Yeah? What are you doing this Christmas then? 'Er, spending time with the folks on the astral plane.' Nice. How are your mum and dad? 'They're still dead.' Oh. But besides that ... 'They don't have any complaints, Mikey. It's the astral plane, ain't it?' Yes, I suppose ...

God! There's nothing else to write about. / I'll have to do a conceptual after lunch, of course, No. 375. 'You can't have too many conceptual posts.' Well, that's what I say.

Ian Livingston is going to be the new chairman of Man Group

Once the FCA has given its blessing, of course. / And he's a lord, by the way. Yes, this Screaming Lord Livingston used to be trade minister. 'Ha! I doubt he's a financial shaman, boss.' Er ... he's not a financial shaman, Voice. So nothing will change at Man Group. They'll continue to use that evil computer of theirs, and the shamans at GLG will continue to suffer. 'What can you do about it, boss?' Me? NOTHING! I'll be a rock and roll star next year. I'm getting out, son! 'Oh. / How will all the sad finance people cope without you?' Well, firstly, all the shamans aren't sad, they're full of mystic love - and they don't need me to lead them any more. But, secondly, all the finance workers who aren't shamans ... who gives a shit about them, man?! Seriously! I've given those squares enough chances. They've had nine years to join the revolution.

Jesus H. Christ! / I've got to be selfish next year, dear reader(s). I've got to think of myself, you dig? I've been your spiritual leader since 2007, and I still don't have a pot to piss in. That's not good, is it? I deserve a better life.

...

New Year's resolutions ... / Are you thinking about yours yet? Mine is to spend every spare moment working on my music. I reckon I'll be able to keep it, too, BECAUSE(!) ... if I'm going to be contacting music publishers, I will need to have my shit together 24/7. It's got to be a lifestyle now, not merely a hobby.

Anything else? Er ... well, I think I'm going to struggle for news, actually, the next few weeks. I always do at this time of year. Maybe I'll get some lovely PR emails to ease my pain. I never used to receive them, but I seem to be flavour of the month at the moment. I don't mind. It's like being a journalist! 'Ha! Those bastards have it so easy.' I know, Voice! You don't need to do any research if it's all handed to you on a plate. 'You just have to quote from the emails, and add a comment or two. It's a piece of piss, Mikey!' It certainly is.

There's something inside Stephen Harker

Mr Stephen Harker is a financial shaman and fund manager who works at GLG Partners. He's a bit shy, unfortunately. However, he has told Fundweb that there is something inside him. 'A bit like Alien, boss. That film, yeah?' No, nothing like Alien, Voice. You moron!

Speaking to Harker it is impossible not to be struck by both his passion for the job and his introspection. While clearly enjoying fund management, he admits the pressures and challenges can be difficult. Comparing this interview to a session in the psychologist's chair, Harker says he struggles to understand exactly what motivates him beyond "something inside". For the purposes of our nature versus nurture debate, he is therefore another advocate for the former. More here, dear reader(s).

Obviously, this "something inside" isn't a hellish monster. 'Thank God!' No, I believe it's the blood and fire that all shamans have. Obviously, he's not going to tell the squares at Fundweb all about financial shamanism, BUT(!) ... we understand, don't we, my mystic kook(s)?

...

Well, well ... / This is the last week before my Christmas break, my week off. [And yours?] I'm definitely looking forward to it BECAUSE(!) ... I'm knackered, quite frankly. I need some mince pies!!! 'Ha! Italics! Is that a quote from the Stephen Harker interview?' Yes, Voice. Yes it is.

Oh, by the way, dear reader(s), don't go looking for our Stephen's LinkedIn profile. It's totally weird. It will just freak you out. 'Jesus, Mikey! Is that a picture of Mr Harker?!' No, that's Benny. 'Benny, who, for the love of Christ?!' I've no idea. Just forget you saw it.

...

Anything else? Music? My music? Nothing much to say. I'm merely waiting for time to pass, another three weeks or so. But I'm thinking, man ... TIME!!! It's been five years since I started my "comeback". I thought it would only take eighteen months to get ready. Never mind. I'm ready now ...

Music? Other people's music? What am I listening to? Er ... I'm listening to The Stone Roses, Second Coming. / Blues rock. Not a classic like the first album, but it's worth listening to just for John Squire's guitar playing.

Lunch? I don't know. Cheese sandwich.

Alternative finance knowledge gap press release - it's embargoed!!!

Oh, Christ! Right, er ... it's the Thursday night PR email, obviously, back by popular demand, BUT(!) ... it's embargoed, dear reader(s). I can't tell you anything about it! 'You can, boss! It was only embargoed until one minute past minute last night.' You mean this morning, Voice. 'No, I mean last night, around midnight.' But I was in bed then, getting my beauty sleep! 'You can write about it ANY TIME after the embargo has been lifted.' Can I?! 'Yes!' The PR freaks might have meant past midnight tonight though. 'That's Friday.' What is? 'Past midnight tonight is Friday.' Look, man, I don't want to get into trouble. Are you sure about this? 'Yes! Just write the fucking post, for crying out loud!'

All right. There's an alternative finance knowledge gap. Fuck! This better be okay -

Intelligent Partnership have found that the alternative finance industry needs to do much more to reach out to advisers. Although 73 per cent of the alternative finance providers IP surveyed stated that they were either already marketing to financial advisers, or planned to do so in the future, the vast majority of advisers were still unaware of key industry developments. Only 7 per cent of advisers surveyed realized that alternative finance is now regulated by the FCA, and only 13 per cent were aware that some platforms used contingency funds to protect investors from losses, and ghosts.

Well ... 'You see? What was all the fuss about, Mikey?' I still don't like it, Voice. I think we better leave it there, eh? 'If you say so. / Oh, what was that about ghosts at the end?' Ha! I had to lighten the mood a bit, man.

...

Ah ... 'That's enough.' Exactly! The end of another week. / But before I go, reader(s) ... I want one of these! An Epiphone Les Paul. The cheapest I've seen it is £360. I've got the money, but ... I'm not sure. I have to be careful, you dig? Maybe if my demo gets a good response next year ... [By the way, Epiphone is owned by Gibson. A similar Gibson Les Paul would cost around £1,600.] Later(s), alligator(s).

[No. 374] Dollars or pounds?

It's all money to me!

And for one pound you can get 1.52 dollars! / or so I've been told - by the internet, Jesus![1], and a-ROUND here there is no SENSE(!) to money, or ... anything much / Oh, it's a charmed life for us![1], and for one pound you can get 1.52 dollars! / or so I've been told - by the internet, Jesus![2], and for one dollar you can get 0.66 pounds! / or so I've been told - by the internet, Christ![1], and a-ROUND here there is no SENSE(!) to money, or ... anything much / Oh, it's a charmed life for us![2], and all I'm saying is: It's all money to me, man![1], and for one dollar you can get 0.66 pounds! / or so I've been told - by the internet, Christ![2], and, LORD ... come and save me, please![1], and all I'm saying is: It's all money to me, man![2], and a-ROUND here everything is, er ... free! / If you're willing to give up your soul, of course[1], and, LORD ... come and save me, please![2], and one of these days everything will be more than THREE ...[1], and a-ROUND here everything is, er ... free! / If you're willing to give up your soul, of course[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... you should know the way by now[1], and one of these days everything will be more than THREE ...[2], and I ain't fussy, you dig? / BUT(!) ... I am DIZZY(!), you dig? / No, I ain't fussy at all[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... you should know the way by now[2], and what do YOU(!) ... want, seriously - ?![1], and I ain't fussy, you dig? / BUT(!) ... I am DIZZY(!), you dig? / No, I ain't fussy at all[2], and those bits of coins, er, I mean, bitcoins, eh? What are they all about?![1], and what do YOU(!) ... want, seriously - ?![2], and I suppose the Americans think they're so special ... with all the fund firms having dollars under management, ha![1], and those bits of coins, er, I mean, bitcoins, eh? What are they all about?![2], and ... 'Maybe it's just the particular websites you look at, boss?' / Shut it, slag![1], and I suppose the Americans think they're so special ... with all the fund firms having dollars under management, ha![2], and just give me a good, honest pound ... oh, I'll be happy[1], and ... 'Maybe it's just the particular websites you look at, boss?' / Shut it, slag![2], and for one pound you can get 1.52 dollars! / or so I've been told - by the internet, Jesus![3], and just give me a good, honest pound ... oh, I'll be happy[2], and a-ROUND here there is no SENSE(!) to money, or ... anything much / Oh, it's a charmed life for us![3], and for one dollar you can get 0.66 pounds! / or so I've been told - by the internet, Christ![3], and all I'm saying is: It's all money to me, man![3], and, LORD ... come and save me, please![3], and a-ROUND here everything is, er ... free! / If you're willing to give up your soul, of course[3], and one of these days everything will be more than THREE ...[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... you should know the way by now[3], and I ain't fussy, you dig? / BUT(!) ... I am DIZZY(!), you dig? / No, I ain't fussy at all[3], and what do YOU(!) ... want, seriously - ?![3], and those bits of coins, er, I mean, bitcoins, eh? What are they all about?![3], and I suppose the Americans think they're so special ... with all the fund firms having dollars under management, ha![3], and ... 'Maybe it's just the particular websites you look at, boss?' / Shut it, slag![3], and just give me a good, honest pound ... oh, I'll be happy[3], and

And for one pound you can get 1.52 dollars! / or so I've been told - by the internet, Jesus![1], and a-ROUND here there is no SENSE(!) to money, or ... anything much / Oh, it's a charmed life for us![1], and for one pound you can get 1.52 dollars! / or so I've been told - by the internet, Jesus![2], and for one dollar you can get 0.66 pounds! / or so I've been told - by the internet, Christ![1], and a-ROUND here there is no SENSE(!) to money, or ... anything much / Oh, it's a charmed life for us![2], and all I'm saying is: It's all money to me, man![1], and for one dollar you can get 0.66 pounds! / or so I've been told - by the internet, Christ![2], and, LORD ... come and save me, please![1], and all I'm saying is: It's all money to me, man![2], and a-ROUND here everything is, er ... free! / If you're willing to give up your soul, of course[1], and, LORD ... come and save me, please![2], and one of these days everything will be more than THREE ...[1], and a-ROUND here everything is, er ... free! / If you're willing to give up your soul, of course[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... you should know the way by now[1], and one of these days everything will be more than THREE ...[2], and I ain't fussy, you dig? / BUT(!) ... I am DIZZY(!), you dig? / No, I ain't fussy at all[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... you should know the way by now[2], and what do YOU(!) ... want, seriously - ?![1], and I ain't fussy, you dig? / BUT(!) ... I am DIZZY(!), you dig? / No, I ain't fussy at all[2], and those bits of coins, er, I mean, bitcoins, eh? What are they all about?![1], and what do YOU(!) ... want, seriously - ?![2], and I suppose the Americans think they're so special ... with all the fund firms having dollars under management, ha![1], and those bits of coins, er, I mean, bitcoins, eh? What are they all about?![2], and ... 'Maybe it's just the particular websites you look at, boss?' / Shut it, slag![1], and I suppose the Americans think they're so special ... with all the fund firms having dollars under management, ha![2], and just give me a good, honest pound ... oh, I'll be happy[1], and ... 'Maybe it's just the particular websites you look at, boss?' / Shut it, slag![2], and for one pound you can get 1.52 dollars! / or so I've been told - by the internet, Jesus![3], and just give me a good, honest pound ... oh, I'll be happy[2], and a-ROUND here there is no SENSE(!) to money, or ... anything much / Oh, it's a charmed life for us![3], and for one dollar you can get 0.66 pounds! / or so I've been told - by the internet, Christ![3], and all I'm saying is: It's all money to me, man![3], and, LORD ... come and save me, please![3], and a-ROUND here everything is, er ... free! / If you're willing to give up your soul, of course[3], and one of these days everything will be more than THREE ...[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... you should know the way by now[3], and I ain't fussy, you dig? / BUT(!) ... I am DIZZY(!), you dig? / No, I ain't fussy at all[3], and what do YOU(!) ... want, seriously - ?![3], and those bits of coins, er, I mean, bitcoins, eh? What are they all about?![3], and I suppose the Americans think they're so special ... with all the fund firms having dollars under management, ha![3], and ... 'Maybe it's just the particular websites you look at, boss?' / Shut it, slag![3], and just give me a good, honest pound ... oh, I'll be happy[3], and

And for one pound you can get 1.52 dollars! / or so I've been told - by the internet, Jesus![1], and a-ROUND here there is no SENSE(!) to money, or ... anything much / Oh, it's a charmed life for us![1], and for one pound you can get 1.52 dollars! / or so I've been told - by the internet, Jesus![2], and for one dollar you can get 0.66 pounds! / or so I've been told - by the internet, Christ![1], and a-ROUND here there is no SENSE(!) to money, or ... anything much / Oh, it's a charmed life for us![2], and all I'm saying is: It's all money to me, man![1], and for one dollar you can get 0.66 pounds! / or so I've been told - by the internet, Christ![2], and, LORD ... come and save me, please![1], and all I'm saying is: It's all money to me, man![2], and a-ROUND here everything is, er ... free! / If you're willing to give up your soul, of course[1], and, LORD ... come and save me, please![2], and one of these days everything will be more than THREE ...[1], and a-ROUND here everything is, er ... free! / If you're willing to give up your soul, of course[2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... you should know the way by now[1], and one of these days everything will be more than THREE ...[2], and I ain't fussy, you dig? / BUT(!) ... I am DIZZY(!), you dig? / No, I ain't fussy at all[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... you should know the way by now[2], and what do YOU(!) ... want, seriously - ?![1], and I ain't fussy, you dig? / BUT(!) ... I am DIZZY(!), you dig? / No, I ain't fussy at all[2], and those bits of coins, er, I mean, bitcoins, eh? What are they all about?![1], and what do YOU(!) ... want, seriously - ?![2], and I suppose the Americans think they're so special ... with all the fund firms having dollars under management, ha![1], and those bits of coins, er, I mean, bitcoins, eh? What are they all about?![2], and ... 'Maybe it's just the particular websites you look at, boss?' / Shut it, slag![1], and I suppose the Americans think they're so special ... with all the fund firms having dollars under management, ha![2], and just give me a good, honest pound ... oh, I'll be happy[1], and ... 'Maybe it's just the particular websites you look at, boss?' / Shut it, slag![2], and for one pound you can get 1.52 dollars! / or so I've been told - by the internet, Jesus![3], and just give me a good, honest pound ... oh, I'll be happy[2], and a-ROUND here there is no SENSE(!) to money, or ... anything much / Oh, it's a charmed life for us![3], and for one dollar you can get 0.66 pounds! / or so I've been told - by the internet, Christ![3], and all I'm saying is: It's all money to me, man![3], and, LORD ... come and save me, please![3], and a-ROUND here everything is, er ... free! / If you're willing to give up your soul, of course[3], and one of these days everything will be more than THREE ...[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... you should know the way by now[3], and I ain't fussy, you dig? / BUT(!) ... I am DIZZY(!), you dig? / No, I ain't fussy at all[3], and what do YOU(!) ... want, seriously - ?![3], and those bits of coins, er, I mean, bitcoins, eh? What are they all about?![3], and I suppose the Americans think they're so special ... with all the fund firms having dollars under management, ha![3], and ... 'Maybe it's just the particular websites you look at, boss?' / Shut it, slag![3], and just give me a good, honest pound ... oh, I'll be happy[3], and

Michael Page? Silver Ridge Asset Management?

Well, well ... / Mikey Page, if the TRUTH(!) be told. 'Just like you, boss! Mikey!' My name is Michael Fowke, Voice. 'Oh, all right.'

Anyway, this Mikey Page has joined Silver Ridge Asset Management as chief operating officer. Actually, it's a hedge fund which was delayed for a while. 'Oh dear.' Yeah, some sort of FCA investigation. But it's all over now. Everyone's happy. There's no problem. [Let the good times roll!] Silver Ridge will launch in January with $500 million in assets under management. 'Based in America, is it?' England, I think. [Maybe America too. I don't know.] Why? 'Okay.' Yeah, I know what you're thinking, man. American dollars again. It's just one of those things. There's nothing that can be done about it.

NEVER MIND ...

I'm looking at Mikey's LinkedIn profile. He calls himself "Mike Page" for some reason. 'It takes all sorts to make a world, boss. / Maybe it's a fake profile.' No. Too many connections. There's not much information though. 'Have you signed in? There might be more information, er ... inside, like.' Ha! You know I'm not a member of LinkedIn, Voice. 'Will you ever be?' Well, I said I would never join, but it might be useful when I'm a rock and roll shaman ... to connect with music industry people, you dig? I'll see how it goes.

So, well ... I don't have much more to say about Mikey Page and Silver Ridge. Sorry. 'Oh ... never mind.' Obviously, I wish everyone involved the best of luck. 'Yeah.' I mean, we'll always need new hedge funds, won't we? 'Well ...'

...

Anything else? 'Lunch!' I'm having a luxury egg sandwich for my lunch. 'From the petrol station, Michael?' Ha! It sounds seedy when you say it like that, Voice. It's really a small Tesco store that sells petrol, too, you understand? 'Oh.' Christ! I don't want my readers thinking I'm some sort of scumbag ...

Music? I'm listening to Fools Gold 9.53 ... a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND.

[If ... The Stone Roses had quickly followed their first album with an album full of Fools Gold-type songs they would have become gods.]

[No. 373] I wanna be adored

Totally!

And I don't have to sell my soul, you know ... BECAUSE(!) ... he's already in me![1], and the good times will be rolling, soon / oh, believe![1], and I don't have to sell my soul, you know ... BECAUSE(!) ... he's already in me![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, ah, my head ... I've got vibrations for everyone![1], and the good times will be rolling, soon / oh, believe![2], and if you're sad today ... please, don't be sad!!![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, ah, my head ... I've got vibrations for everyone![2], and NOW(!!!) ... SHAKE(!) until YOU(!) are DIZZY(!) / yes, that's an order![1], and if you're sad today ... please, don't be sad!!![2], and there is no going back ...[1], and NOW(!!!) ... SHAKE(!) until YOU(!) are DIZZY(!) / yes, that's an order![2], and this ... is what the world is waiting for - ?! / Man, the world doesn't know what it wants, you dig?[1], and there is no going back ...[2], and a-ROUND, more![1], and this ... is what the world is waiting for - ?! / Man, the world doesn't know what it wants, you dig?[2], and rolling here / and rolling to over there - the better life ...[1], and a-ROUND, more![2], and what would Jesus do, with a guitar? / A Gibson Les Paul maybe? Anyone's guess![1], and rolling here / and rolling to over there - the better life ...[2], and I'm stuck with my Fender Squier Telecaster for the time being ...[1], and what would Jesus do, with a guitar? / A Gibson Les Paul maybe? Anyone's guess![2], and so DIZZY(!), man! ... / ... are YOU(!) all right?[1], and I'm stuck with my Fender Squier Telecaster for the time being ...[2], and we all have ... feelings, don't we? / None of us are made of stone, my friend(s)[1], and so DIZZY(!), man! ... / ... are YOU(!) all right?[2], and satisfaction? This ... is satisfying[1], and we all have ... feelings, don't we? / None of us are made of stone, my friend(s)[2], and I just wanna be adored ... / ... Is that asking for the fucking moon? No, I don't think so[1], and satisfaction? This ... is satisfying[2], and a-ROUND, until your head explodes![1], and I just wanna be adored ... / ... Is that asking for the fucking moon? No, I don't think so[2], and, well ... sha/man(s) have all the fun ... ?[1], and a-ROUND, until your head explodes![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / You've got to bang a gong! - NOW(!!!)[1], and, well ... sha/man(s) have all the fun ... ?[2], and do it for me ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / You've got to bang a gong! - NOW(!!!)[2], and Morrison to Curtis to Brown to Fowke ... oh, the fun never stops![1], and do it for me ...[2], and I don't have to sell my soul, you know ... BECAUSE(!) ... he's already in me![3], and Morrison to Curtis to Brown to Fowke ... oh, the fun never stops![2], and the good times will be rolling, soon / oh, believe![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, ah, my head ... I've got vibrations for everyone![3], and if you're sad today ... please, don't be sad!!![3], and NOW(!!!) ... SHAKE(!) until YOU(!) are DIZZY(!) / yes, that's an order![3], and there is no going back ...[3], and this ... is what the world is waiting for - ?! / Man, the world doesn't know what it wants, you dig?[3], and a-ROUND, more![3], and rolling here / and rolling to over there - the better life ...[3], and what would Jesus do, with a guitar? / A Gibson Les Paul maybe? Anyone's guess![3], and I'm stuck with my Fender Squier Telecaster for the time being ...[3], and so DIZZY(!), man! ... / ... are YOU(!) all right?[3], and we all have ... feelings, don't we? / None of us are made of stone, my friend(s)[3], and satisfaction? This ... is satisfying[3], and I just wanna be adored ... / ... Is that asking for the fucking moon? No, I don't think so[3], and a-ROUND, until your head explodes![3], and, well ... sha/man(s) have all the fun ... ?[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / You've got to bang a gong! - NOW(!!!)[3], and do it for me ...[3], and Morrison to Curtis to Brown to Fowke ... oh, the fun never stops![3], and

And I don't have to sell my soul, you know ... BECAUSE(!) ... he's already in me![1], and the good times will be rolling, soon / oh, believe![1], and I don't have to sell my soul, you know ... BECAUSE(!) ... he's already in me![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, ah, my head ... I've got vibrations for everyone![1], and the good times will be rolling, soon / oh, believe![2], and if you're sad today ... please, don't be sad!!![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, ah, my head ... I've got vibrations for everyone![2], and NOW(!!!) ... SHAKE(!) until YOU(!) are DIZZY(!) / yes, that's an order![1], and if you're sad today ... please, don't be sad!!![2], and there is no going back ...[1], and NOW(!!!) ... SHAKE(!) until YOU(!) are DIZZY(!) / yes, that's an order![2], and this ... is what the world is waiting for - ?! / Man, the world doesn't know what it wants, you dig?[1], and there is no going back ...[2], and a-ROUND, more![1], and this ... is what the world is waiting for - ?! / Man, the world doesn't know what it wants, you dig?[2], and rolling here / and rolling to over there - the better life ...[1], and a-ROUND, more![2], and what would Jesus do, with a guitar? / A Gibson Les Paul maybe? Anyone's guess![1], and rolling here / and rolling to over there - the better life ...[2], and I'm stuck with my Fender Squier Telecaster for the time being ...[1], and what would Jesus do, with a guitar? / A Gibson Les Paul maybe? Anyone's guess![2], and so DIZZY(!), man! ... / ... are YOU(!) all right?[1], and I'm stuck with my Fender Squier Telecaster for the time being ...[2], and we all have ... feelings, don't we? / None of us are made of stone, my friend(s)[1], and so DIZZY(!), man! ... / ... are YOU(!) all right?[2], and satisfaction? This ... is satisfying[1], and we all have ... feelings, don't we? / None of us are made of stone, my friend(s)[2], and I just wanna be adored ... / ... Is that asking for the fucking moon? No, I don't think so[1], and satisfaction? This ... is satisfying[2], and a-ROUND, until your head explodes![1], and I just wanna be adored ... / ... Is that asking for the fucking moon? No, I don't think so[2], and, well ... sha/man(s) have all the fun ... ?[1], and a-ROUND, until your head explodes![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / You've got to bang a gong! - NOW(!!!)[1], and, well ... sha/man(s) have all the fun ... ?[2], and do it for me ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / You've got to bang a gong! - NOW(!!!)[2], and Morrison to Curtis to Brown to Fowke ... oh, the fun never stops![1], and do it for me ...[2], and I don't have to sell my soul, you know ... BECAUSE(!) ... he's already in me![3], and Morrison to Curtis to Brown to Fowke ... oh, the fun never stops![2], and the good times will be rolling, soon / oh, believe![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, ah, my head ... I've got vibrations for everyone![3], and if you're sad today ... please, don't be sad!!![3], and NOW(!!!) ... SHAKE(!) until YOU(!) are DIZZY(!) / yes, that's an order![3], and there is no going back ...[3], and this ... is what the world is waiting for - ?! / Man, the world doesn't know what it wants, you dig?[3], and a-ROUND, more![3], and rolling here / and rolling to over there - the better life ...[3], and what would Jesus do, with a guitar? / A Gibson Les Paul maybe? Anyone's guess![3], and I'm stuck with my Fender Squier Telecaster for the time being ...[3], and so DIZZY(!), man! ... / ... are YOU(!) all right?[3], and we all have ... feelings, don't we? / None of us are made of stone, my friend(s)[3], and satisfaction? This ... is satisfying[3], and I just wanna be adored ... / ... Is that asking for the fucking moon? No, I don't think so[3], and a-ROUND, until your head explodes![3], and, well ... sha/man(s) have all the fun ... ?[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / You've got to bang a gong! - NOW(!!!)[3], and do it for me ...[3], and Morrison to Curtis to Brown to Fowke ... oh, the fun never stops![3], and

And I don't have to sell my soul, you know ... BECAUSE(!) ... he's already in me![1], and the good times will be rolling, soon / oh, believe![1], and I don't have to sell my soul, you know ... BECAUSE(!) ... he's already in me![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, ah, my head ... I've got vibrations for everyone![1], and the good times will be rolling, soon / oh, believe![2], and if you're sad today ... please, don't be sad!!![1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, ah, my head ... I've got vibrations for everyone![2], and NOW(!!!) ... SHAKE(!) until YOU(!) are DIZZY(!) / yes, that's an order![1], and if you're sad today ... please, don't be sad!!![2], and there is no going back ...[1], and NOW(!!!) ... SHAKE(!) until YOU(!) are DIZZY(!) / yes, that's an order![2], and this ... is what the world is waiting for - ?! / Man, the world doesn't know what it wants, you dig?[1], and there is no going back ...[2], and a-ROUND, more![1], and this ... is what the world is waiting for - ?! / Man, the world doesn't know what it wants, you dig?[2], and rolling here / and rolling to over there - the better life ...[1], and a-ROUND, more![2], and what would Jesus do, with a guitar? / A Gibson Les Paul maybe? Anyone's guess![1], and rolling here / and rolling to over there - the better life ...[2], and I'm stuck with my Fender Squier Telecaster for the time being ...[1], and what would Jesus do, with a guitar? / A Gibson Les Paul maybe? Anyone's guess![2], and so DIZZY(!), man! ... / ... are YOU(!) all right?[1], and I'm stuck with my Fender Squier Telecaster for the time being ...[2], and we all have ... feelings, don't we? / None of us are made of stone, my friend(s)[1], and so DIZZY(!), man! ... / ... are YOU(!) all right?[2], and satisfaction? This ... is satisfying[1], and we all have ... feelings, don't we? / None of us are made of stone, my friend(s)[2], and I just wanna be adored ... / ... Is that asking for the fucking moon? No, I don't think so[1], and satisfaction? This ... is satisfying[2], and a-ROUND, until your head explodes![1], and I just wanna be adored ... / ... Is that asking for the fucking moon? No, I don't think so[2], and, well ... sha/man(s) have all the fun ... ?[1], and a-ROUND, until your head explodes![2], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / You've got to bang a gong! - NOW(!!!)[1], and, well ... sha/man(s) have all the fun ... ?[2], and do it for me ...[1], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / You've got to bang a gong! - NOW(!!!)[2], and Morrison to Curtis to Brown to Fowke ... oh, the fun never stops![1], and do it for me ...[2], and I don't have to sell my soul, you know ... BECAUSE(!) ... he's already in me![3], and Morrison to Curtis to Brown to Fowke ... oh, the fun never stops![2], and the good times will be rolling, soon / oh, believe![3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, ah, my head ... I've got vibrations for everyone![3], and if you're sad today ... please, don't be sad!!![3], and NOW(!!!) ... SHAKE(!) until YOU(!) are DIZZY(!) / yes, that's an order![3], and there is no going back ...[3], and this ... is what the world is waiting for - ?! / Man, the world doesn't know what it wants, you dig?[3], and a-ROUND, more![3], and rolling here / and rolling to over there - the better life ...[3], and what would Jesus do, with a guitar? / A Gibson Les Paul maybe? Anyone's guess![3], and I'm stuck with my Fender Squier Telecaster for the time being ...[3], and so DIZZY(!), man! ... / ... are YOU(!) all right?[3], and we all have ... feelings, don't we? / None of us are made of stone, my friend(s)[3], and satisfaction? This ... is satisfying[3], and I just wanna be adored ... / ... Is that asking for the fucking moon? No, I don't think so[3], and a-ROUND, until your head explodes![3], and, well ... sha/man(s) have all the fun ... ?[3], and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND ... / You've got to bang a gong! - NOW(!!!)[3], and do it for me ...[3], and Morrison to Curtis to Brown to Fowke ... oh, the fun never stops![3], and

Martin Coward's pet dormouse is on the road to recovery!

Great! Well done, everyone! I mean, for raising the money. I love you, my beautiful readers!!! This has restored my faith in humanity. 'Eh?! What's this all about, boss? Remind me. Please!' Christ! Voice, I wrote a post last year ...

Martin Coward was planning to start his own hedge fund. However, he didn't have enough money. And he got depressed. So he decided to spend more time with his pet dormouse instead. Unfortunately, the dormouse is poorly now. It needs treatment at the vets. And that's why Mr Coward wants your money, dear reader(s). Yes, he wants you to invest in his dormouse, or take a share in it, or adopt it ... er, I don't know what's going on with this guy. We've all seen the adverts on TV: Adopt a tiger and get a free cuddly tiger toy! This is the same sort of thing, although Martin won't even be sending you the toy.

'I see.' Well, the good news is, Martin's dormouse went up 3.71 per cent in November. Just one month, man! 'Er ... what do you mean, up 3.71 per cent?' The dormouse has put on weight. It's getting better! 'Oh, that's good. Martin must be happy.' Happy? He's over the moon. This is what he said to me earlier -

Mikey, how can I thank you? How can I thank your readers? I'm just overwhelmed. It was touch and go for a while. I didn't think Eric was going to make it. You're a beautiful man, Mikey. Your readers are beautiful too.

'Who the fuck is Eric?!' That's the name of his dormouse. / This is the power of blogging!

...

Anything else?

Oh, I saw Ian Brown from The Stone Roses in Chiswick yesterday. 'Bollocks, Mikey.' It's not bollocks, Voice. He was walking beside me for a few minutes, and someone on Twitter says he lives there. 'Bloody hell!' Yeah, and it's got to be a good omen, man. 'Why?' Well, as a rock and roll shaman, Ian Brown isn't too far behind Jim Morrison, so ... 'Okay. And you'll be abandoning financial shamanism next year ... for the rock and roll game.' Exactly! It's definitely a good omen.

Er ...

Music? What am I listening to? The Stone Roses, obviously. The first album.

[For American readers who may be wondering why it's a big deal meeting Ian Brown, the five greatest albums of all time are ...

1. The Stone Roses
2. Revolver
3. OK Computer
4. Sgt. Pepper
5. Pet Sounds

Do you understand?]

Music? My music? Four weeks to go! I'm more or less ready. I've just got to sort out some copyright stuff. / I was listening to my songs again last night. I'm satisfied I can't do better at the moment. They're slightly rough recordings, but great performances! So I'm feeling very positive right now ...

Let the good times roll!