Thursday, 17 December 2015

James Harries has joined Troy Asset Management

Yes, he's left Newton. He was a fund manager there, as YOU(!!!) ... would expect him to have been - ? ... Anyway, after Christmas, in the new year [I'm not using capitals, it's bullshit] ... er, he'll start work at Troy. Something to do with balanced funds, whatever they are. / So ... 'You're not telling us everything, are you, boss?' Well ... 'He's a blue man, ain't he, this Mr Harries? He ain't a real human being.' [Ha! Who is, these days?] No ... ha! That's just a rumour. There's been a rumour going around [a-ROUND? Later!] for quite a while, dear reader(s), but - 'Now we have the proof!' Maybe, Voice, maybe.

You see, uh, there's a picture of him, on a website, and ... well, he's just a blue man, from head to toe. He doesn't have any, er, features, you know? No hair, eyes, mouth, nose. His hands and feet look a bit dodgy, too, and - 'The dirty bastard doesn't even have any clothes on, Mikey!' Oh, come on! [Don't judge him!] 'And his head is round like a football!' Yes, yes ... and he's running towards an open door. [Why?!?! Desperate to escape?] Jesus! I mean, that's the picture. [Don't blame me!] 'Is he a thought-form from the astral plane?' Er ... it's not impossible.

Well, well ... / And why ... Troy?! That's the question. Why does Troy want ... what is basically a cartoon man? 'He might be cheap.' And then there's the horse!!! I suppose he'll be riding around [a-ROUND? Later!] on the horse now. 'What fucking horse?!' Those nutters at Troy Asset Management have a horse in their office. It's a nice-looking white horse. It seems pretty melancholic though. 'Well, wouldn't you be, locked up in a fucking office in the City? Or Mayfair? Wherever it is. Horses want to run wild, man!'

Yeah ... / Christ! I don't really need this before Christmas. Not that it's my problem. I just - 'The best thing, boss, is if Mr Harries jumps on the horse and rides out of the office, into the sunset, as it were, or ... will be.' They'll have to change that picture, Voice. It will have to show a blue cartoon man on a white horse, galloping out of the door. / But it's not my problem ...