Thursday, 3 December 2015

David Nowakowski has been hired by Barings Bank!

Congratulations to David Nowakowski! Barings Bank has hired him as the director of research for its fixed income team. He leaves Roubini Global Economics, where he had a pretty good job, let's be honest. "Working with economist Nouriel Roubini and a team of analysts, I focused on applying the macroeconomic research and analysis of the RGE team to equity markets, G10 and EM rates and FX." Not bad, eh? 'Who said that, boss?' Who said what, Voice? 'All that shit just then.' Oh, that was the voice of David Nowakowski, himself. Out of nowhere, a voice like you. Ha! You've got competition, son! 'I'm not impressed.' I didn't think you would be.

Well, well ... / Of course, there is a little problem. Barings Bank doesn't actually exist. It went out of business in 1995. Yes, twenty years ago! However, that doesn't bother some people. Some people are just a glutton for punishment. Either that or they don't do their research. 'Your Davy specializes in research, boss.' Well, that's what makes it so bloody strange. I don't know. Maybe he just wanted a new challenge. I'll work for a bank that doesn't exist. What could be cooler and more, er, avant-garde than that? 'Who's speaking now?' That was me, Voice, imagining what Davy was saying to himself, before he took the job, like.

Christ. Uh ... / Obviously, someone has made good money from this move. An absurd grifter of a headhunter has probably been paid a small fortune by Mr Nowakowski. 'I feel no sympathy for Davy.' Ha! You're just scared I might take him on as my new intern, my new voice - if he gets fed up at Barings. 'I should imagine Mr Nowakowski has a physical body, boss.' For the moment he does, sure.

But let's not be morbid. It might not even come to that. We should enjoy the life that God has given us, all of us.


Lunch? Luxury egg sandwich from the petrol station. After lunch? I'll be giving Davy a test run, No. 372. Maybe he'll speak to us, with words that will spin a-ROUND until the end of time.