Uh ... well, kook(s)

Just a general sort of chatty post, dear reader(s), for the last one of the week. There isn't any financial news I like the look of, and I haven't received any PR emails lately. 'That's a lie, boss. A bloody lie! I've seen them in your inbox.' They weren't suitable, Voice. 'Why not?' Christ! Why are you such an idiot? First of all, they're off topic. I get emails about cat food or something. 'Ha! Do that story!' No. Or ... I get people offering investment advice or even investment opportunities. And that's potentially dodgy, man. 'Oh.' And don't forget I'm a financial shaman. I don't offer investment advice, do I? I'm on the mystical side of things. I'll fix anyone's chakras. 'Ha! How could I forget you're a shaman, boss? I'm your spirit guide.' Yeah, right. Native American, aren't you? 'I don't know. Maybe.' How can you not know? 'It's all rather vague. I'm rather vague.' Right.

Listen, dear reader(s), I reckon he's the old mystical child voice I used to have on this blog. I got rid of him, and then he came back rebranded as the Voice. That's what I reckon. 'Nonsense! I hated that guy!' Really? 'Yes. I still see him lurking around on the astral plane, you know.' Oh. How is he? 'I don't talk to him. He's not in my circle of friends.' Okay.

Yeah, yeah. Okay, let's move on. What shall we talk about, my dear reader(s)? 'Brexit, boss!' Get lost! 'Music, then.' Do you want to talk about music, reader(s)?

Let me put something on. The La's by The La's. I'm still not sure about this album. It's supposed to be an all-time classic, but ... I'm just not sure, you dig? Lee Mavers reminds me of the French poet Stephane Mallarme, who hardly wrote any poems and yet ... he's an immortal genius, by all accounts. 'Naked golds thrashing crimson space, boss.' Exactly! / Obviously, There She Goes is a great classic song. Uh. By the way, yes ... I can understand Mavers' perfectionism. 'Ha! You're just the same.' It's almost a mental illness.

So, I'm not having a pop at anyone. One day I'll finish my new demo. I promise.

I'll tell you, I feel like watching Don't Look Back, the documentary of Bob Dylan's 1965 tour of the UK. I haven't seen it in a while. Maybe at the weekend. / I've said it before, and I'll say it again ... Donovan's singing and playing are much better in the film, but Dylan has got ... [drum roll] ... the X factor. 'The X Factor?! The X Factor?!?!?!' No, no ... the X factor, with a small "f", Voice, FFS! 'Thank God for that!'

Anyway, that's your lot, kook(s). I'm worn out, but there's no rest for the wicked. I'll try recording tonight. So ... 'Bye!' Yeah, bye.

Fidelity is merging some funds

Yes, dear reader(s). Fidelity is merging its multi asset fund range with its multi asset open range. So, uh ... I don't know what's going on. 'It all sounds the same to me, boss. Except some funds are open and some funds aren't. Shut, I suppose.' Yes, well, they will all be together now, Voice. Soon, anyway. By March.

Bill McQuaker will be charge of the whole lot. Apparently, he already manages the multi asset open range. 'Boss.' What? 'Why do you take the capital letters off?' What do you mean? 'It should be Multi Asset Open.' Uh. Who says it should?! Listen, I don't like using CAPITALS, man, when they're not necessary. Every PR email I get these days is stuffed with them, and I let the capitals go most of the time. However, this is news that I found for myself earlier and ... I WILL NOT USE CAPITALS for things like multi asset open, you dig? 'Yes, I dig.' Good!

Now, who on earth is this Bill McQuaker character? I have a feeling deep inside, Voice, that my readers need to know. They really need to know.

Okay, okay. Our Bill was born in Girvan in 1963. [That's in Scotland, I should imagine.] He attended the University of Edinburgh. He got himself an honours degree in business studies. He started his career with County Natwest IM in 1986, and then moved to NatWest Securities. Then he went to Credit Suisse. Then he joined Henderson, for his sins. And, uh ... now he's at Fidelity, of course. Working hard! / When he's not in the office, Bill enjoys the outdoor life with golf, tennis, football, and walking. He likes music, too.

Are you satisfied with that, dear reader(s)? No, I thought not. / Listen, kook(s), I know for a fact that our Bill enjoys the astral life, especially at night. 'No, no, no, boss.' Eh? 'No, no, no. You've banned financial workers from the astral plane. Or have you?' It's complicated, Voice. I banned them because they were doing too much business on the astral plane, and lowering the tone of the place. Then I allowed them to go back, for recreational purposes, like. 'Oh. Then didn't you ban that as well?' Ha! I honestly can't remember. It was years ago, man. 'Okay.' All I'm saying is, Bill isn't being completely open with his interests. He obviously doesn't want his colleagues and clients knowing that he floats around on the astral plane at night. In his own time, remember. I don't see anything wrong with it, myself.

...

Anything else? Not at the moment, no. I'll be doing the last post of the week this afternoon.

Oh, er ... I tried recording my songs again last night. Bloody nightmare! I don't want to talk about it.

Well ... later(s), alligator(s)!

They must be crazy!

Yes, they must be crazy! Absolutely nuts! 'Who, boss?! Who? Tell us!' Oh, I've got a PR email from the IGF again. 'Ha! We know they're crazy. Hooligans!' No, Voice. From Independent Growth Finance. 'Oh, those guys.' Yes. 'Well, they're not nuts.' No. 'So what are you talking about then?' Christ! Give me a chance, man!

A new report from Independent Growth Finance, the leading independent asset based lender, finds that one in four UK businesses expect double digit growth in 2019 despite concerns over Brexit impact.

You see? 'Ah, one in four UK businesses is nuts.' Exactly! I mean, do they think we're going to get a deal? 'Maybe.' Well, things are looking bad at the moment. We might have to crash out of the EU with No Deal. So ... 'Have you bought any more baked beans?' No. I haven't got any baked beans at all. 'But I thought you kept a spare room full of baked beans, for emergencies, like.' Ha! This blog is satire, Voice. Don't believe everything you read.

Idiot!

No, no, I'm not stockpiling baked beans yet, or any sort of food, dear reader(s). 'Pot Noodles?' Er, no. They're very tasty, Voice, but too expensive, considering that they don't fill you up like a proper meal. / I'm hoping the chip shop will still have chips.

Anyway, let's get on with this email -

Independent Growth Finance (IGF) report finds businesses 'bullish' about future despite 90 percent highlighting Brexit challenge.

It doesn't make any sense!

71 percent of SMEs seeking new funding in 2019 - £1.1 million on average - to realize growth aspirations.

I can only wish them the best of luck. 'Don't be so negative, boss.' I'm being realistic, son.

Over half (53%) of businesses face waiting a month or more for traditional funding, as a result alternative finance on the rise.

Okay. Fair enough. 

Over a quarter (27%) of business leaders are expecting revenues to grow by more than 10 percent in 2019, according to a new report by Independent Growth Finance (IGF), the leading independent asset based lender. 

Yeah, right. Don't these people read the newspapers, or watch the evening news?

Despite undeniable uncertainty in the economy, IGF's Powering Freedom Report finds that British businesses turning over between £1 million and £500 million remain 'bullish' about the future. Nine in ten company leaders have concerns over Brexit yet they remain optimistic about opportunities in the year ahead. In fact seven in ten (69%) companies expect an increase in revenues. 

Well, okay. The only thing that can explain it is ... entrepreneurs are naturally optimistic. 'It goes with the territory, boss.' Of course it does! I mean, I'm still listening to that Vance/Musk audiobook on a loop to shift my paradigm, like, and our Elon has always been optimistic about all kinds of crazy shit. 'Hanging out with Martians and that.' Yes. That's one example. But, listen ... even Elon - if he lived in the UK - would have to think twice about Brexit, man.

Okay, okay. There's quite a bit of this. Uh. Let's finish with top boy, John Onslow -

John Onslow, CEO of Independent Growth Finance, comments, "British SMEs are the lifeblood of this country. It is encouraging to hear how many are forecasting meaningful growth in 2019. Such a large number of businesses seeking more than £1.1 million in funding shows that businesses want to seize control of their financial futures. Yet our findings suggest many struggle to find quick and flexible funding. With uncertainty on the horizon SMEs are refusing to stand still. Instead they are pushing for ambitious growth and alternative funding solutions."

All right. Thanks, John.

ENDS

...

Anything else? Er ... not today, kook(s). 'But there's always tomorrow, guy(s)!' Yes, yes, there's always ...

Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to -

'Stop it, boss! You'll make yourself ill.'

Yeah, yeah. Whatever.

Laters!

Is there any Aviva Investors news?

That's what I'm wondering this morning, dear reader(s). I can't even remember the last time I wrote about Aviva Investors. 'Before Christmas, boss.' Really? 'Yes. I believe you wrote your normal story about their, uh ... Christmas party.' Ha! Well, it's my "normal" story, Voice, because they always have a month-long party. And I find it fascinating. Their clients never complain. 'Well, Schroders handles all their funds, man.' Yes. [Those mugs!] And maybe the clients have accepted the fact that Aviva Investors is ... [drum roll] ... a refuge from the modern world.

Anyway, I've got a bit of news. I mean, I've just found some. 'Yippee! Tell us!' Aviva Investors is launching two new funds in the next quarter. One will be a global unconstrained fund, and the other will be a global emerging market unconstrained fund. 'Nice.' Yes. Oh, and they've got a new chief investment officer, David Cumming. 'Great!' Well, I say new, he's been with the firm for a year, but I didn't know. No one tells me anything.

A bit about our David -

Uh ... David Cumming has a degree in Economics and Accounting from the University of Edinburgh. He started his working life at Royal London Mutual in 1983 ... as a UK investment analyst, apparently. He moved to Edinburgh Fund Managers in 1985. He was a UK unit trust fund manager there, for his sins, and after that he was a director at Morgan Grenfell Asset Management. Later on, David went to work for Standard Life Investments as head of UK equities. He left there in 2017. Then I guess he rocked up at Aviva Investors in January 2018. So ...

That's it, really. I'm sure he's a great guy and everything, and I'm sure there's other news, but ... 'Other news? Does it even matter, boss? We all know the truth about Aviva Investors.' Ha! Well, we kooks, man. We know. But the general public don't know. 'I suppose not.' Listen, they say that you can fool all the people half the time, but most of the time they won't know anything, anyway, and a bit of the time they might have a clue, but don't count on it, and a lot of the time ... people don't care, so ... you dig? 'Yes. That's how I look at it.' You're a very sensible voice, Voice.

...

We, I mean you ... shouldn't get upset, dear reader(s). If you don't live and let live, you will drive yourself insane. Seriously. It's not worth the hassle. Stop thinking about Aviva Investors. Stop thinking about all these firms - even if you work for one of them. Look at your own situation. Your personal situation. Are you happy?

If you're not happy, I ... / Maybe you need a hobby. And I don't mean golf. Forget golf!

If you suffer from anxiety, go for a long walk. I walked to Richmond and back last Saturday. ['I saw you, Mikey.' Shut up, Voice!] Eight miles. Try it!

London property report

Okay, okay. We've got a PR email about London property, from Naomi. 'Naomi, boss?' Yes, you know her, Voice. She always sends us one of those email Christmas card things. 'Oh, yeah. Well, she sends you one.' What do you mean? 'It's always Dear Michael, have a lovely Christmas ... something like that. Not Dear Michael and Voice. I might as well be invisible.' You are invisible, you little idiot!

Unbelievable!

Anyway, dear reader(s), let's have a look at this ...

The LCPAca Residential Index 2018 Report.

Uh, just the highlights, of course. I mean, life's too short, you dig?

PRIME CENTRAL LONDON (PCL)

2018 year end sees prices and sales plummet

Average annual prices in December (excluding new build) in PCL amounted to £1,844,031.
Monthly prices fell by 6.0%.
Prices in the final quarter fell by 10.2%.
Annual transactions in 2018 fell 16.4% to 3,514, the lowest recorded and down over 46% on 2014.
New build average prices now stand at £4,461,072 representing a premium of 74.3% over existing stock.
Quarterly new build transactions fall by 75.1% to just 57.

Wow! Big falls! 'Are all the rich people moving out, boss?' I suppose so, Voice. And no one wants to buy expensive houses no more. It's a crisis! 'Where are the rich going, then?' Christ knows!

GREATER LONDON

2018 sees lowest prices since the GFC

Average prices in Greater London (excluding new build) ended the year at £619,888.
Prices in Quarter 4 fell 1.1%.
Annual prices in 2018 rose by just 1.3%.
Annual transactions in 2018 fell by 7.1% to just 86,869; the fourth consecutive annual fall.
New build transactions saw far greater falls of 19.1% over the year.
New build prices now stand at £698,485, a 20.8% premium over existing stock.

Well, okay. I, uh ... wonder Naomi makes of all this. 'Let's find out, boss!' Yes, okay. / Come on, Naomi!

Naomi Heaton, CEO of LCP, comments:

Prime Central London

Whilst prices have increased marginally over the year, this is not a cause for optimism. It is attributable to greater activity at the higher priced end of the market where the most significant discounts are available. This skews average prices upwards but even this "high-end" effect is tapering off as activity stalls.

There were just 3,514 recorded transactions in 2018, fewer than 68 sales a week. This represents a fall of 16.4% over the year and sales are now below the previous all-time low seen during the Global Financial Crisis (GFC). There were just 57 new build transactions in the last recorded quarter.

The political turmoil the UK is currently weathering is being acutely felt throughout the country, but nowhere more so than in PCL. With the Prime Minister's deal being voted down and no clear cross party consensus, it appears we are now even further away from a post-Brexit road map. This continues to dampen investor sentiment.

However, from a buyer's perspective this period of low competition and suppressed prices is an excellent opportunity. The fundamentals that underpin the desirability of PCL as a global destination have not changed.

Those who still believe in these fundamentals are able to acquire properties at material discounts, with the potential for significant uplift in the medium to long term.

Okay, okay. No endorsement from me, of course, but Naomi reckons there's going to be, uh ... 'Uplift, man.' Yes, uplift, for buyers. But I'm not sure I can see it myself. 'Oh, you're the expert, are you?' Listen, son, it's obvious what's happening here. 'What?' We're all going to hell in a handcart. 'Ha! Cheer up, Mikey!' Shut up, Voice!

Right. Greater London -

Greater London

Average prices for Greater London in December 2018 were £619,888, falling by 1.1% over the final quarter.

This is lower than the average price seen in June 2017 when the Prime Minister held a snap general election. At the time she declared that it was "the only way to guarantee certainty and security for the years ahead". With the benefit of hindsight, this has not been the case.

The average price for the last 12 months to December was £615,625, representing annual growth of just 1.3% for 2018, the lowest level since the GFC.

Transactions for 2018 amounted to 86,869, a drop of 7.1% over the year. Sales in the capital have now declined for four consecutive years amounting to a fall of 27%.

This decline coincided with the introduction of graduated SDLT and the Mortgage Market Review which had a disproportionately negative impact in Greater London, where average house prices are significantly higher than the UK as a whole.

More recent political and economic events have added more fuel to the fire and there are very few signs that this is likely to change. With Brexit looming, the property market is desperate for some positive news to restore confidence.

You see, Voice? 'What?' Naomi agrees with me. 'Maybe.' No, not maybe. Definitely. We're all going to hell in a handcart.

...

Anything else? All right, pop picker(s). This is my last ever music update. 'Ha!' I'm serious, man. I'm genuinely tired of writing about my struggles with music. 'But think about the rock historians, Mikey!' Tough!

Okay, okay. As I mentioned yesterday, I tried to record my new demo on Sunday. There was one positive thing and one negative thing to come out of it. Which do you want first? 'Are you asking me, boss?' Well, okay, Voice. Go on. 'Hit us with the negative first.' Right. Even though This World Don't Mean a Thing is a great song, it sounds like crap. 'Oh.' Because I still can't play it properly. 'Oh dear. / What about the positive?' Well, Sunday was the first time I've tried recording Malibu, and it sounds pretty awesome, even played rough. 'Yippee!' Yeah, it's one of those rare songs that sounds like a classic from the first few bars, and it builds the whole way through, and it doesn't disappoint. So ... maybe it's my best song. / If the worst comes to the worst, I might have to drop This World ... and replace it with Lucky You, which has already been recorded with Round the Bend.

All right. Later(s), crocodile(s)! 'In a while(s), alligator(s)!' Yeah, whatever.

[No. 679] Elon needs to get a-ROUND

I

Yes! Elon needs to shift his paradigm. I'm shifting my paradigm with that Vance/Musk audiobook. So, uh ... I'm suggesting that Elon needs to do it with one of my conceptual posts. Actually, this one! Fair's fair. Do you know what I mean, kook(s)?

And, well, well ...[1], and it's time to get DIZZY(!) - !!![1], and, well, well ...[2], and it's even better than a rocket ride, Elon, seriously / and, obviously ... it's not rocket science[1], and it's time to get DIZ ZY(!) - !!![2], and a-ROUND, uh ... are you up for it?[1], and it's even better than a roc ket ride, Elon, seriously / and, obviously ... it's not roc ket science[2], and it's not car science, man, no, no, no ... it's shamanic science![1], and a-ROUND, uh ... are you up for it?[2], and-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here ... / ... and we're going beyond the THREE - !!![1], and it's not car science, man, no, no, no ... it's sham anic science![2], and, uh ... maybe[1], and-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here ... / ... and we're going beyond the THREE - !!![2], and when we get there ... maybe we'll listen to Eno's Apollo ... or maybe not because ...[1], and, uh ... maybe[2], and ... I don't know[1], and when we get there ... maybe we'll listen to Eno's A pollo ... or maybe not because ...[2], and, hey ... let's be honest, kook(s) ... none of us know what reality there is beyond the THREE[1], and ... I don't know[2], and we're not gods/God - yet[1], and, hey ... let's be honest, kook(s) ... none of us know what real ity there is be yond the TH REE[2], and it could all be emptiness ... / and that would suit me just fine, the way I'm feeling these days, ha![1], and we're not gods/God - yet[2], and ... 'Ha!'[1], and it could all be empti ness ... / and that would suit me just fine, the way I'm feeling these days, ha![2], and one thing's for sure ... uh ... well, no, probably not / and never mind, eh?[1], and ... 'Ha!'[2], and ... listen!!![1], and one thing's for sure ... uh ... well, no, probably not / and never mind, eh?[2], and we've got to stay positive / and we've got to remember that the cosmos loves us[1], and ... listen!!![2], and Elon knows that better than anyone, believe me[1], and we've got to stay posi tive / and we've got to remember that the c osmos loves us[2], and can't we stay here ... forever? / and it's the hell/heaven we know, yes, yes, yes[1], and Elon knows that better than anyone, believe me[2], and Lord have mercy! ... if you're a-ROUND, anywhere, like[1], and can't we stay here ... forever? / and it's the hell/heaven we know, yes, yes, yes[2], and one more ... for the sky![1], and Lord have mercy! ... if you're a-ROUND, anywhere, like[2], and, well, well ...[3], and one more ... for the s ky![2], and it's time to get D  I  Z  Z  Y(!) - !!![3], and it's even better than a r  o  c  k  e  t ride, Elon, seriously / and, obviously ... it's not r  o  c  k  e  t science[3], and a-ROUND, uh ... are you up for it?[3], and it's not car science, man, no, no, no ... it's s  h  a  m  a  n  i  c science![3], and-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here ... / ... and we're going beyond the THREE - !!![3], and, uh ... maybe[3], and when we get there ... maybe we'll listen to Eno's A  p  o  l  l  o ... or maybe not because ...[3], and ... I don't know[3], and, hey ... let's be honest, kook(s) ... none of us know what r  e  a  l  i  t  y there is b  e  y  o  n  d the T  H  R  E  E[3], and we're not gods/God - yet[3], and it could all be e  m  p  t  i  n  e  s  s ... / and that would suit me just fine, the way I'm feeling these days, ha![3], and ... 'Ha!'[3], and one thing's for sure ... uh ... well, no, probably not / and never mind, eh?[3], and ... listen!!![3], and we've got to stay p  o  s  i  t  i  v  e / and we've got to remember that the c  o  s  m  o  s loves us[3], and Elon knows that better than anyone, believe me[3], and can't we stay here ... forever? / and it's the hell/heaven we know, yes, yes, yes[3], and Lord have mercy! ... if you're a-ROUND, anywhere, like[3], and one more ... for the s  k  y![3], and

And, well, well ...[1], and it's time to get DIZZY(!) - !!![1], and, well, well ...[2], and it's even better than a rocket ride, Elon, seriously / and, obviously ... it's not rocket science[1], and it's time to get DIZ ZY(!) - !!![2], and a-ROUND, uh ... are you up for it?[1], and it's even better than a roc ket ride, Elon, seriously / and, obviously ... it's not roc ket science[2], and it's not car science, man, no, no, no ... it's shamanic science![1], and a-ROUND, uh ... are you up for it?[2], and-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here ... / ... and we're going beyond the THREE - !!![1], and it's not car science, man, no, no, no ... it's sham anic science![2], and, uh ... maybe[1], and-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here ... / ... and we're going beyond the THREE - !!![2], and when we get there ... maybe we'll listen to Eno's Apollo ... or maybe not because ...[1], and, uh ... maybe[2], and ... I don't know[1], and when we get there ... maybe we'll listen to Eno's A pollo ... or maybe not because ...[2], and, hey ... let's be honest, kook(s) ... none of us know what reality there is beyond the THREE[1], and ... I don't know[2], and we're not gods/God - yet[1], and, hey ... let's be honest, kook(s) ... none of us know what real ity there is be yond the TH REE[2], and it could all be emptiness ... / and that would suit me just fine, the way I'm feeling these days, ha![1], and we're not gods/God - yet[2], and ... 'Ha!'[1], and it could all be empti ness ... / and that would suit me just fine, the way I'm feeling these days, ha![2], and one thing's for sure ... uh ... well, no, probably not / and never mind, eh?[1], and ... 'Ha!'[2], and ... listen!!![1], and one thing's for sure ... uh ... well, no, probably not / and never mind, eh?[2], and we've got to stay positive / and we've got to remember that the cosmos loves us[1], and ... listen!!![2], and Elon knows that better than anyone, believe me[1], and we've got to stay posi tive / and we've got to remember that the c osmos loves us[2], and can't we stay here ... forever? / and it's the hell/heaven we know, yes, yes, yes[1], and Elon knows that better than anyone, believe me[2], and Lord have mercy! ... if you're a-ROUND, anywhere, like[1], and can't we stay here ... forever? / and it's the hell/heaven we know, yes, yes, yes[2], and one more ... for the sky![1], and Lord have mercy! ... if you're a-ROUND, anywhere, like[2], and, well, well ...[3], and one more ... for the s ky![2], and it's time to get D  I  Z  Z  Y(!) - !!![3], and it's even better than a r  o  c  k  e  t ride, Elon, seriously / and, obviously ... it's not r  o  c  k  e  t science[3], and a-ROUND, uh ... are you up for it?[3], and it's not car science, man, no, no, no ... it's s  h  a  m  a  n  i  c science![3], and-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here ... / ... and we're going beyond the THREE - !!![3], and, uh ... maybe[3], and when we get there ... maybe we'll listen to Eno's A  p  o  l  l  o ... or maybe not because ...[3], and ... I don't know[3], and, hey ... let's be honest, kook(s) ... none of us know what r  e  a  l  i  t  y there is b  e  y  o  n  d the T  H  R  E  E[3], and we're not gods/God - yet[3], and it could all be e  m  p  t  i  n  e  s  s ... / and that would suit me just fine, the way I'm feeling these days, ha![3], and ... 'Ha!'[3], and one thing's for sure ... uh ... well, no, probably not / and never mind, eh?[3], and ... listen!!![3], and we've got to stay p  o  s  i  t  i  v  e / and we've got to remember that the c  o  s  m  o  s loves us[3], and Elon knows that better than anyone, believe me[3], and can't we stay here ... forever? / and it's the hell/heaven we know, yes, yes, yes[3], and Lord have mercy! ... if you're a-ROUND, anywhere, like[3], and one more ... for the s  k  y![3], and

And, well, well ...[1], and it's time to get DIZZY(!) - !!![1], and, well, well ...[2], and it's even better than a rocket ride, Elon, seriously / and, obviously ... it's not rocket science[1], and it's time to get DIZ ZY(!) - !!![2], and a-ROUND, uh ... are you up for it?[1], and it's even better than a roc ket ride, Elon, seriously / and, obviously ... it's not roc ket science[2], and it's not car science, man, no, no, no ... it's shamanic science![1], and a-ROUND, uh ... are you up for it?[2], and-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here ... / ... and we're going beyond the THREE - !!![1], and it's not car science, man, no, no, no ... it's sham anic science![2], and, uh ... maybe[1], and-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here ... / ... and we're going beyond the THREE - !!![2], and when we get there ... maybe we'll listen to Eno's Apollo ... or maybe not because ...[1], and, uh ... maybe[2], and ... I don't know[1], and when we get there ... maybe we'll listen to Eno's A pollo ... or maybe not because ...[2], and, hey ... let's be honest, kook(s) ... none of us know what reality there is beyond the THREE[1], and ... I don't know[2], and we're not gods/God - yet[1], and, hey ... let's be honest, kook(s) ... none of us know what real ity there is be yond the TH REE[2], and it could all be emptiness ... / and that would suit me just fine, the way I'm feeling these days, ha![1], and we're not gods/God - yet[2], and ... 'Ha!'[1], and it could all be empti ness ... / and that would suit me just fine, the way I'm feeling these days, ha![2], and one thing's for sure ... uh ... well, no, probably not / and never mind, eh?[1], and ... 'Ha!'[2], and ... listen!!![1], and one thing's for sure ... uh ... well, no, probably not / and never mind, eh?[2], and we've got to stay positive / and we've got to remember that the cosmos loves us[1], and ... listen!!![2], and Elon knows that better than anyone, believe me[1], and we've got to stay posi tive / and we've got to remember that the c osmos loves us[2], and can't we stay here ... forever? / and it's the hell/heaven we know, yes, yes, yes[1], and Elon knows that better than anyone, believe me[2], and Lord have mercy! ... if you're a-ROUND, anywhere, like[1], and can't we stay here ... forever? / and it's the hell/heaven we know, yes, yes, yes[2], and one more ... for the sky![1], and Lord have mercy! ... if you're a-ROUND, anywhere, like[2], and, well, well ...[3], and one more ... for the s ky![2], and it's time to get D  I  Z  Z  Y(!) - !!![3], and it's even better than a r  o  c  k  e  t ride, Elon, seriously / and, obviously ... it's not r  o  c  k  e  t science[3], and a-ROUND, uh ... are you up for it?[3], and it's not car science, man, no, no, no ... it's s  h  a  m  a  n  i  c science![3], and-ROUND, and a-ROUND, and a-ROUND here ... / ... and we're going beyond the THREE - !!![3], and, uh ... maybe[3], and when we get there ... maybe we'll listen to Eno's A  p  o  l  l  o ... or maybe not because ...[3], and ... I don't know[3], and, hey ... let's be honest, kook(s) ... none of us know what r  e  a  l  i  t  y there is b  e  y  o  n  d the T  H  R  E  E[3], and we're not gods/God - yet[3], and it could all be e  m  p  t  i  n  e  s  s ... / and that would suit me just fine, the way I'm feeling these days, ha![3], and ... 'Ha!'[3], and one thing's for sure ... uh ... well, no, probably not / and never mind, eh?[3], and ... listen!!![3], and we've got to stay p  o  s  i  t  i  v  e / and we've got to remember that the c  o  s  m  o  s loves us[3], and Elon knows that better than anyone, believe me[3], and can't we stay here ... forever? / and it's the hell/heaven we know, yes, yes, yes[3], and Lord have mercy! ... if you're a-ROUND, anywhere, like[3], and one more ... for the s  k  y![3], and

II

Now, this is important. Elon really needs to break the words down in his mind. I'm talking little pieces. Just letters!

And, w                                                   ell, well ...[1], and it's tim                           e to get DI                           ZZ                                                 Y(!) - !!![1], and, well, well ...[2], and it's even b                              etter than a r             ock            et rid                         e, Elon, seriously / and, obvio                          usly ... it's no             t ro          cket sci                           ence[1], and it's ti                 me to ge             t D         IZ Z         Y(!) - !!![2], and a-RO                                       UND, uh ... are you up for it?[1], and it's even better than a roc ket ride, Elon, seriously / and, obviously ... it's not roc ke                                 t sci                   ence[2], and it's not car science, man, no, n                                                                    o, no ... it's s                                          hamanic scien                      ce![1], and a-ROU                       ND, uh ... are you up for it?[2], and-ROU           ND, and a-RO          UND, and a-ROUN                       D h                  ere ... / ... and we're go          ing bey                         ond the THR                EE - !!![1], and it's not ca                  r science, man, no, no, no ... it's sham anic science![2], and, uh ... maybe[1], and-ROUND, and a-RO                   UND, and a-ROUND here ... / ... and we're goi                     ng beyo                nd the THREE - !!![2], and when we get there ... maybe we'll listen to E          no's A       po       llo ... or ma                ybe not bec                ause ...[1], and, uh ... maybe[2], and ... I don't know[1], and when we get there ... maybe we'll listen to E       no's A po              llo ... or maybe n                    ot because ...[2], and, hey ... let's be honest, kook(s) ... n                    one of us know what re                ality there is b                   eyond the THREE[1], and ... I don't know[2], and we're not go                            ds/God - yet[1], and, hey ... let's be h                  onest, k                                    ook(s) ... non                    e of us know w                          hat real ity th        ere is be yond the TH REE[2], and it could all be emptin                       ess ... / and that would s       uit me just fine, the way I'm f                             eeling these days, h       a![1], and we're not go           ds/God - yet[2], and ... 'Ha!'[1], and it could all be empti ness ... / and that would suit me just fi                      ne, the way I'm feel                        ing th          ese d      ays, h        a![2], and one th                                      ing's for sure ... uh ... well, no, p      rob                                               ably n                            ot / and ne                         ver mind, eh?[1], and ... 'Ha!'[2], and ... lis                           ten!!![1], and one t                               hing's for sure ... uh ... well, no, p                          robab             ly not / and n     ever min      d, eh?[2], and we've g                 ot to s tay p                           ositive / and we've got to rem         ember that the c             osm                   os loves us[1], and ... listen!!![2], and Elo                        n kn                    ows that better than a                 nyone, bel               ieve me[1], and we've got to s            tay posi tive / and we've got to re                     memb  er t hat the c osm os lov es u    s[2], and c                         an't we stay here ... forever? / and it's the he                                  ll/he                       aven we k                             now, yes, yes, yes[1], and                     E            l                o            n                                            knows that b              et                             ter than any    o  ne, believe me[2], and Lor                    d have mer                    cy! ... if y                      ou're a-ROU             ND, anywhere, like[1], and can't we sta                           y here ... fo       rever? / and it's the h               ell/he                              aven we know, y        es, ye     s, y      es[2], and one more ... for the sk                        y![1], and L               ord have m              ercy! ... if you're a-ROUND, a         ny                    wh          ere, l                    ike[2], and, w  ell, w  ell ...[3], and one m                   ore ... f                 or the s ky![2], and it's time to get D  I                 Z  Z  Y(!) - !!![3], and it's ev          en b           etter than a r  o                        c  k  e  t ride, E                                                    lon, seriously / and, obviously ... i                                                 t's not r  o                                    c  k                              e  t sci      ence[3], and a-ROU   ND, uh ... are you up for it?[3], and it's not car science, man, no, no, no ... it's s  h  a                                                         m  a  n  i  c scien                                ce![3], and-ROU    ND, and a-ROUND, and a-RO   UND here ... / ... and we're go    ing beyo         nd the THR              EE - !!![3], and, uh ... maybe[3], and when w                          e get there ... maybe we'll listen to Eno's A  p  o  l  l  o ... or mayb     e not because ...[3], and ... I don't know[3], and, hey ... let's be hon     est, ko          ok(s) ... none of us kn                 ow what r                          e                   a  l             i  t  y there is b                                   e  y  o  n  d the T                                               H  R  E                 E[3], and we're n   ot gods/G                  od - yet[3], and it co                                 uld all be e  m  p                                                     t  i  n  e  s  s ... / and that wou                 ld suit me j       ust fine, the way I'm f            eel                                   ing th  ese days, h     a![3], and ... 'Ha!'[3], and one th            ing's for su            re ... uh ... well, no, pro  bab                                                      ly not / and nev                   er m   ind, eh?[3], and ... lis            ten!!![3], and we've g         ot to stay p  o  s  i                       t  i  v  e / and we've got to re  me  mber that the c  o  s                                                                                                       m  o  s lov             es us[3], and El       on knows that better tha              n any                       one, b            elieve me[3], and can't we stay here ... forever? / and it's the h           ell/hea         ven we k           now, yes, yes, ye              s[3], and L             ord have mer                  cy! ... if you're a-ROUN                     D, a                         nywhe                re, lik                            e[3], and on            e more ... for the s                                k  y![3], and

And, w                                                   ell, well ...[1], and it's tim                           e to get DI                           ZZ                                                 Y(!) - !!![1], and, well, well ...[2], and it's even b                              etter than a r             ock            et rid                         e, Elon, seriously / and, obvio                          usly ... it's no             t ro          cket sci                           ence[1], and it's ti                 me to ge             t D         IZ Z         Y(!) - !!![2], and a-RO                                       UND, uh ... are you up for it?[1], and it's even better than a roc ket ride, Elon, seriously / and, obviously ... it's not roc ke                                 t sci                   ence[2], and it's not car science, man, no, n                                                                    o, no ... it's s                                          hamanic scien                      ce![1], and a-ROU                       ND, uh ... are you up for it?[2], and-ROU           ND, and a-RO          UND, and a-ROUN                       D h                  ere ... / ... and we're go          ing bey                         ond the THR                EE - !!![1], and it's not ca                  r science, man, no, no, no ... it's sham anic science![2], and, uh ... maybe[1], and-ROUND, and a-RO                   UND, and a-ROUND here ... / ... and we're goi                     ng beyo                nd the THREE - !!![2], and when we get there ... maybe we'll listen to E          no's A       po       llo ... or ma                ybe not bec                ause ...[1], and, uh ... maybe[2], and ... I don't know[1], and when we get there ... maybe we'll listen to E       no's A po              llo ... or maybe n                    ot because ...[2], and, hey ... let's be honest, kook(s) ... n                    one of us know what re                ality there is b                   eyond the THREE[1], and ... I don't know[2], and we're not go                            ds/God - yet[1], and, hey ... let's be h                  onest, k                                    ook(s) ... non                    e of us know w                          hat real ity th        ere is be yond the TH REE[2], and it could all be emptin                       ess ... / and that would s       uit me just fine, the way I'm f                             eeling these days, h       a![1], and we're not go           ds/God - yet[2], and ... 'Ha!'[1], and it could all be empti ness ... / and that would suit me just fi                      ne, the way I'm feel                        ing th          ese d      ays, h        a![2], and one th                                      ing's for sure ... uh ... well, no, p      rob                                               ably n                            ot / and ne                         ver mind, eh?[1], and ... 'Ha!'[2], and ... lis                           ten!!![1], and one t                               hing's for sure ... uh ... well, no, p                          robab             ly not / and n     ever min      d, eh?[2], and we've g                 ot to s tay p                           ositive / and we've got to rem         ember that the c             osm                   os loves us[1], and ... listen!!![2], and Elo                        n kn                    ows that better than a                 nyone, bel               ieve me[1], and we've got to s            tay posi tive / and we've got to re                     memb  er t hat the c osm os lov es u    s[2], and c                         an't we stay here ... forever? / and it's the he                                  ll/he                       aven we k                             now, yes, yes, yes[1], and                     E            l                o            n                                            knows that b              et                             ter than any    o  ne, believe me[2], and Lor                    d have mer                    cy! ... if y                      ou're a-ROU             ND, anywhere, like[1], and can't we sta                           y here ... fo       rever? / and it's the h               ell/he                              aven we know, y        es, ye     s, y      es[2], and one more ... for the sk                        y![1], and L               ord have m              ercy! ... if you're a-ROUND, a         ny                    wh          ere, l                    ike[2], and, w  ell, w  ell ...[3], and one m                   ore ... f                 or the s ky![2], and it's time to get D  I                 Z  Z  Y(!) - !!![3], and it's ev          en b           etter than a r  o                        c  k  e  t ride, E                                                    lon, seriously / and, obviously ... i                                                 t's not r  o                                    c  k                              e  t sci      ence[3], and a-ROU   ND, uh ... are you up for it?[3], and it's not car science, man, no, no, no ... it's s  h  a                                                         m  a  n  i  c scien                                ce![3], and-ROU    ND, and a-ROUND, and a-RO   UND here ... / ... and we're go    ing beyo         nd the THR              EE - !!![3], and, uh ... maybe[3], and when w                          e get there ... maybe we'll listen to Eno's A  p  o  l  l  o ... or mayb     e not because ...[3], and ... I don't know[3], and, hey ... let's be hon     est, ko          ok(s) ... none of us kn                 ow what r                          e                   a  l             i  t  y there is b                                   e  y  o  n  d the T                                               H  R  E                 E[3], and we're n   ot gods/G                  od - yet[3], and it co                                 uld all be e  m  p                                                     t  i  n  e  s  s ... / and that wou                 ld suit me j       ust fine, the way I'm f            eel                                   ing th  ese days, h     a![3], and ... 'Ha!'[3], and one th            ing's for su            re ... uh ... well, no, pro  bab                                                      ly not / and nev                   er m   ind, eh?[3], and ... lis            ten!!![3], and we've g         ot to stay p  o  s  i                       t  i  v  e / and we've got to re  me  mber that the c  o  s                                                                                                       m  o  s lov             es us[3], and El       on knows that better tha              n any                       one, b            elieve me[3], and can't we stay here ... forever? / and it's the h           ell/hea         ven we k           now, yes, yes, ye              s[3], and L             ord have mer                  cy! ... if you're a-ROUN                     D, a                         nywhe                re, lik                            e[3], and on            e more ... for the s                                k  y![3], and

And, w                                                   ell, well ...[1], and it's tim                           e to get DI                           ZZ                                                 Y(!) - !!![1], and, well, well ...[2], and it's even b                              etter than a r             ock            et rid                         e, Elon, seriously / and, obvio                          usly ... it's no             t ro          cket sci                           ence[1], and it's ti                 me to ge             t D         IZ Z         Y(!) - !!![2], and a-RO                                       UND, uh ... are you up for it?[1], and it's even better than a roc ket ride, Elon, seriously / and, obviously ... it's not roc ke                                 t sci                   ence[2], and it's not car science, man, no, n                                                                    o, no ... it's s                                          hamanic scien                      ce![1], and a-ROU                       ND, uh ... are you up for it?[2], and-ROU           ND, and a-RO          UND, and a-ROUN                       D h                  ere ... / ... and we're go          ing bey                         ond the THR                EE - !!![1], and it's not ca                  r science, man, no, no, no ... it's sham anic science![2], and, uh ... maybe[1], and-ROUND, and a-RO                   UND, and a-ROUND here ... / ... and we're goi                     ng beyo                nd the THREE - !!![2], and when we get there ... maybe we'll listen to E          no's A       po       llo ... or ma                ybe not bec                ause ...[1], and, uh ... maybe[2], and ... I don't know[1], and when we get there ... maybe we'll listen to E       no's A po              llo ... or maybe n                    ot because ...[2], and, hey ... let's be honest, kook(s) ... n                    one of us know what re                ality there is b                   eyond the THREE[1], and ... I don't know[2], and we're not go                            ds/God - yet[1], and, hey ... let's be h                  onest, k                                    ook(s) ... non                    e of us know w                          hat real ity th        ere is be yond the TH REE[2], and it could all be emptin                       ess ... / and that would s       uit me just fine, the way I'm f                             eeling these days, h       a![1], and we're not go           ds/God - yet[2], and ... 'Ha!'[1], and it could all be empti ness ... / and that would suit me just fi                      ne, the way I'm feel                        ing th          ese d      ays, h        a![2], and one th                                      ing's for sure ... uh ... well, no, p      rob                                               ably n                            ot / and ne                         ver mind, eh?[1], and ... 'Ha!'[2], and ... lis                           ten!!![1], and one t                               hing's for sure ... uh ... well, no, p                          robab             ly not / and n     ever min      d, eh?[2], and we've g                 ot to s tay p                           ositive / and we've got to rem         ember that the c             osm                   os loves us[1], and ... listen!!![2], and Elo                        n kn                    ows that better than a                 nyone, bel               ieve me[1], and we've got to s            tay posi tive / and we've got to re                     memb  er t hat the c osm os lov es u    s[2], and c                         an't we stay here ... forever? / and it's the he                                  ll/he                       aven we k                             now, yes, yes, yes[1], and                     E            l                o            n                                            knows that b              et                             ter than any    o  ne, believe me[2], and Lor                    d have mer                    cy! ... if y                      ou're a-ROU             ND, anywhere, like[1], and can't we sta                           y here ... fo       rever? / and it's the h               ell/he                              aven we know, y        es, ye     s, y      es[2], and one more ... for the sk                        y![1], and L               ord have m              ercy! ... if you're a-ROUND, a         ny                    wh          ere, l                    ike[2], and, w  ell, w  ell ...[3], and one m                   ore ... f                 or the s ky![2], and it's time to get D  I                 Z  Z  Y(!) - !!![3], and it's ev          en b           etter than a r  o                        c  k  e  t ride, E                                                    lon, seriously / and, obviously ... i                                                 t's not r  o                                    c  k                              e  t sci      ence[3], and a-ROU   ND, uh ... are you up for it?[3], and it's not car science, man, no, no, no ... it's s  h  a                                                         m  a  n  i  c scien                                ce![3], and-ROU    ND, and a-ROUND, and a-RO   UND here ... / ... and we're go    ing beyo         nd the THR              EE - !!![3], and, uh ... maybe[3], and when w                          e get there ... maybe we'll listen to Eno's A  p  o  l  l  o ... or mayb     e not because ...[3], and ... I don't know[3], and, hey ... let's be hon     est, ko          ok(s) ... none of us kn                 ow what r                          e                   a  l             i  t  y there is b                                   e  y  o  n  d the T                                               H  R  E                 E[3], and we're n   ot gods/G                  od - yet[3], and it co                                 uld all be e  m  p                                                     t  i  n  e  s  s ... / and that wou                 ld suit me j       ust fine, the way I'm f            eel                                   ing th  ese days, h     a![3], and ... 'Ha!'[3], and one th            ing's for su            re ... uh ... well, no, pro  bab                                                      ly not / and nev                   er m   ind, eh?[3], and ... lis            ten!!![3], and we've g         ot to stay p  o  s  i                       t  i  v  e / and we've got to re  me  mber that the c  o  s                                                                                                       m  o  s lov             es us[3], and El       on knows that better tha              n any                       one, b            elieve me[3], and can't we stay here ... forever? / and it's the h           ell/hea         ven we k           now, yes, yes, ye              s[3], and L             ord have mer                  cy! ... if you're a-ROUN                     D, a                         nywhe                re, lik                            e[3], and on            e more ... for the s                                k  y![3], and