And it's just become more extreme in the last few months.
Actually, I'm writing this now because I've just woken up after a few hours sleep went to bed early about nine last night and I'm am was worried not going to edit this on me laptop in bed that I was am going to die before getting my poems published but thought to myself even if that does happen I can still be like Bodhi doing what I love with an intensity that I doubt anyone alive at the moment has and that's great so great that the cosmos will notice and I'll probably become a dolphin. I've destroyed those plays from years ago. Can't have all those manuscripts hanging around. Can hardly see the keyboard in this light. I won't edit this. The plan is to finish writing it and then go back to sleep for a while.
I'm hoping the battery holds up because I don't want to get out of bed. Anyway, I'm happy for this blog to be seen now as a sort of Karate Kid warm-up for my poems. A crazy change I know. But the British Library can't even be bothered to update the blogs they are archiving. I mean update the archive. And Google intends to delete any accounts that haven't been signed in to for two years in the future, so that's not helpful. But that's not the main reasons. It's just that genuine immortality is possible now with the poetry and that's what motivates me, although the Bodhi prospect as I mentioned is will be bearable if I could become a cosmic dolphin flying through space seeing all the planets and stars etc., for ever and ever and ever.
You dig?
What time is it? I'm still tired. I would like to sleep again for a bit. I'm only correcting spelling mistakes at the moment not the sense, which is absolutely fine by me.
One thing I've got to do is memorize my poems in case I become separated from my laptop or phone or even paper and pen you understand but you probably don't. This will be a problem if I write a lot more. But maybe I would only need to remember a few details of each poem and could then redo them again if I needed to. But I'm sure it won't come to that. Gotta stay positive.
The important thing is to have no fear and just charge ahead like a crazy warrior on a crazy horse.
That's what I believe. And I get power not just from writing not just from the spiritual force in the universe but also from certain souls living in confusion and unbelief or disbelief. Just can't imagine how I am, not even if say it all in plain English, and this ain't plain tonight this morning ha, ha, ha.
You understand?
Bye!
