Wednesday, 20 August 2008

Barclays looking for a wealth management company

My dear friend Bob Diamond said yesterday that Barclays would like to buy a wealth management company in the US, but would not be interested in an investment bank. Fair enough. Seems an okay plan to me.

I phoned Bob this morning, and he told me, 'We want to focus on high-net-worth individuals, and we want to brainwash them. Yeah, you heard me right. By the way, John Varley doesn't know about this and he doesn't need to know. So keep it under your hat, or your white sheet, or whatever. Actually, no, you can quote me in your blog. He's too square to read it. He'll probably be reading The Big Picture or that Mish guy. He makes me laugh. But yeah, we're going to brainwash a load of wealthy clients, tune them into the cosmos, turn them on, you get me? Take them out to the desert. Let them burn. Let their money swirl around in the desert wind. Show them what they've been missing. I'll personally be strapping crystals to their heads. Yeah, I want to be more hands-on.'

Good luck, Bob. You're the man!