Some interesting news. Credit Suisse plans to double the number of staff it has in India. It has recently hired Samita Shah from Lehman Brothers, Sughosh Moharikar from Kotak Mahindra, Asim Ahuja from Deutsche Bank, and Sanjay Singh from CLSA. The bank currently employs 140 people in India. So, a lot of new jobs then in the next twelve months! But why do I say double trouble in India? Well, unfortunately, Credit Suisse has not consulted Ganesh the elephant god about this expansion. Big mistake!
I have been speaking to Ganesh, and to say he is pissed would be quite an understatement. He told me, 'I had this trouble with those UBS motherfuckers. Remember that? Barclays was fine. That bank had respect. But now Credit Suisse! What is it with these Swiss arseholes? I WANT SOME RESPECT! You do not come to my territory and start setting up banks and making money without my being able to dip my trunk in a bit. Do you know what I mean? Tom Kalaris! You know Tom at Barclays? A beautiful man. A man you can do business with. Not like these Swiss jokers. Where do they find these people? Is this how they do business in Switzerland? It boggles the mind!'
Oh dear. If I were one of the bosses at Credit Suisse, I would be trying to find out who was responsible for bypassing Ganesh, and then I would sack the bastard. In India, it's Ganesh’s way or the highway.