Tuesday, 5 August 2008

Vestra Wealth told to leave UBS alone

Some good news for UBS. The High Court yesterday prohibited Vestra Wealth from stealing any more of UBS's UK staff. For the time being, at least. There will be a full court hearing into the legality of all these defections. Vestra Wealth seems to have a real hard-on for UBS. Nearly a hundred UBS employees have moved to Vestra this year. Why? Why are they moving?

I have been speaking to David Scott, the big man at Vestra, and he told me, 'It's our meditation rooms. That's the main attraction. Our staff know that when the going gets tough, they can just walk away from their desks for half an hour or so and chill out in one of these rooms - especially designed by Maurice Marble III, by the way. We have whale sounds, soothing New Age fucked-up music - or whatever you call it. We have chakra healing sessions. We do things with auras. I don't know what exactly. I ain't into all this voodoo shit. I just listen to my people. They wanted it, so they got it. As long as the money keeps rolling in, I really don't give a shit. Within reason, of course. I don't want a load of spaced-out hippies on my hands all smoking weed. But there shouldn't be a problem. My guys love the money. And they love the burning, apparently. Whatever that is.'