Friday, 29 August 2008

John Thain on Merrill's losses

Shocking news out of Merrill Lynch. Its losses in the last eighteen months are equal to a quarter of its profits over the last thirty-six years. Pretty bad.

You've got to hand it to John Thain though. The man is staying positive. He told me, 'Right, let's get this straight: of course I'm not happy about the losses. But I genuinely believe the money will come back to us. When I first found out about mystical capitalism, I have to say I was a bit sceptical. But I've looked into it, my friendship with you, Michael, has grown, and now I feel the mystical way is the way to go. Obviously, money is the way, the warrior's way, the shaman's way. It will probably be some time before I go completely nuts for it - like Bob Diamond has, but I'm making slow progress. I just want to dip my toes into the water, as it were. But back to the money, yeah, we'll see this money again. It's the law of karma, ain't it? I am a good man. I'm surrounded by good people. Everything is going to work out fine.'

John, mate, you've got to believe. Got to have faith. It's the only way. You'll be all right. Big Herb loves you.