Monday 1 September 2008

Atticus Capital losses: $5 billion this year!

Atticus Capital - a monster hedge fund based in New York - has lost more than $5 billion this year. Not down the back of the sofa, no. It's that blasted credit crunch again. The credit crunch is starting to get on my nerves.

A lot of people have been asking me when I’m going to do something about the credit crunch. They say to me: You're the world's foremost financial shaman. You're the money king. When are you going to pull your finger out?

Well, there is not much I can do. I've been praying to Big Herb and Ganesh. That hasn't done any good. I am not too familiar with Ganesh's personal habits, but I know for a fact that Big Herb moves in mysterious ways. I mean, I remember when he was a mere financier in the City. The way he would carry on! 'Mysterious' doesn't even begin to describe it. Look at how he died. On that space hopper in his office! So, he wasn't a normal man, and no one can expect him to be a normal money god. Maybe he has something up his sleeve. Maybe he will crunch the crunch. Maybe he will work his magic, and we will wake up one morning and the credit crunch will seem like nothing more than a bad dream. We have got to believe that Big Herb will deal with the problem eventually. Because as powerful as I am, I can't do anything. Sorry.