Wednesday, 24 September 2008

Luke Johnson: march or die!

Luke Johnson has just announced that he will be joining the French Foreign Legion.

I have been speaking to Luke. He told me, 'This ain't no mystical shit. I'm talking about the desert in purely physical terms. I love the desert, and I want to crawl through it after my entire platoon has been wiped out. The vultures above me. The sun. The murderous heat. Water! Water! I can't wait. It's going to be an adventure. I want a man's life. I want to drink hard whisky and get into arm-wrestling competitions. I want to be desert scum. You Legionnaires are soldiers in order to die, and I am sending you where you can die. I love all that. Let's remember Jean Danjou - the hero of Camerone. Let's remember the Battle of Dien Bien Phu. Let's remember all the boys who died in Algeria. I have a rendezvous with Death at some disputed barricade, I have a -'

All right, Luke, we get the idea.