Wednesday, 10 September 2008

Jack Pickles was behind stock exchange meltdown

Well, this is shocking. Absolutely shocking. So it was Jack. I can't believe it. I knew Jack was evil. But I didn't know he was this evil. To close down the London Stock Exchange like that. The power of the man! The awful, demonic power of Jack. It makes your head spin, doesn't it? It makes your chakras vibrate, doesn't it? Shocking.

I have been speaking to No One - the chief executive of Nothing - and he told me, 'I knew it was Jack. It was like that scene in The Italian Job when Michael Caine and Benny Hill fucked all the traffic in Turin. I just knew as soon as it happened that Jack was the evil genius behind it. What can we do about him? This guy has Satan backing him up. How can we fight a man who is in a business partnership with Satan? Never have I felt so weak, so lost. I feel like I'm wandering in a waste land. A crowd flowed over London Bridge, so many, I had not thought death had undone so many. I can't feel my legs! O Jesus, have mercy on me! I love you, O beautiful Jesus, SAVE ME!!!'

Burning burning burning burning

La la