Monday, 8 September 2008

Barclays Capital: Target Alpha Programme

Barclays Capital is blurring the line between this world and the next with its new product - the Target Alpha Programme!

Let Shachi Shah explain. She says: 'We saw a gap. In this gap, we saw wonders. Souls so very old, ghosts of ancient financiers, and living, breathing traders! It amazed us. The gap is where the two worlds meet, physical and astral, and we will fill that gap with the Target Alpha Programme. Some crazy people are saying all sorts. Talking about bonds, equities, I don't know what. But let's concentrate on the soul. Forget about limiting volatility - that's so old school. Have you seen the desert at night? I know you have, Michael, but this is for your readers. Have you seen the moon in the desert? Do you know there are ghosts on the moon?'

Okay. I had to stop her there. I'm still not sure I understand what this Target Alpha shit is all about, but Shachi is a nice girl. Let's give her the benefit of the doubt.